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What's Your House Look Like

#6
3 kids under 10, so place is a constant war zone and thats without all their mates being round. We seem to be feeding half the street. The doors never locked as it rarely gets time to close. As I type this there are approx. 7 kids (hard to count as they keep moving around) in the house and I've only seen one of mine in the last hour. I've actually sat and waited for time on one of the the pc's before realising that it wasn't even one of my sprogs on the bloody thing.
 
#10
Wooden stuctures are the way forward, there is a thread.
But you'll need triple A clearance (AAA) to access it.
You need the clearance just to get the clearance, even then selection is a barsteward carrying that s*ed over the fan is no joke with the iron duke and punch giving you 'ell.
 
#13
You need the clearance just to get the clearance, even then selection is a barsteward carrying that s*ed over the fan is no joke with the iron duke and punch giving you 'ell.
Actually induction is not too difficult.
You just have to bow three times every morning in the direction of the nearest distillery (or an off-licence if you don't know of any distilleries) keep a bottle of good malt whiskey / whisky on tap ( in case you actually meet Punch), and pay due respect to the Iron Duke (address him as Sir for at least 100 posts). He always carries a great big starting handle for a certain type of ancient oil engine. If you recognise this instantly and give the make and model of the engine you are in! However if you get it wrong there is no second chance.

The quick way in is to have both the whisky and an oil engine of your own. Now!

Sheds made of hay bales are unacceptable however. The are vulnerable to burrowing things like rats and Welshmen.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#15
I do hope it's the same Alan Beesley who taught me GCSE Woodwork.

I hope they pull your house down you ****.
 
#16
Mine has walls & a roof so beat that you pikey *******
Mine has a balcony so technically I am posh as ****. Their is also a little brick built shed out back but their is a snake in their (no shit) so I am going nowhere near, the bride can do it after she drops this sprog.
 
#18
Mine is like an explosion in a combined cat/child factory from a bomb planted under a hideyhole made from laundry comprising green kit/rugby kit/underpants and assorted **** socks closely followed up by a homework grenade!



Maybe I should be posting this in that wanky housework thread??
 
#19
I wouldn't lower myself to live in a house. Crash Towers is a veritable mansion so large I can sleep in a different bedroom every night for over a fortnight.

Or b) it's a two-up, two-down hovel in some sink estate in the midlands.
 
#20
Mine has a balcony so technically I am posh as ****. Their is also a little brick built shed out back but their is a snake in their (no shit) so I am going nowhere near, the bride can do it after she drops this sprog.
Is your house brand new, if so you can claim to be the First Man on the balcony,and write a book about it.
 

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