What's wrong with my fags?

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by AIR FILTER, Sep 26, 2011.

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  1. I noticed that my usual brand of cigarettes were going out mid way through my smoke over the last few weeks, so i e-mailed the manufactures to find out what was going on.

    It turned out that new E.U rules have intervened as a whole regarding all fag brands under new E.U fire rules!

    **Extract of e-mail reply**

    Dear Sir

    All cigarette manufacturers (including Imperial Tobacco UK ) have had to modify their cigarette paper as part of an EU wide fire safety initiative.

    This may mean that in rare circumstances, a cigarette may extinguish during the normal smoking process. You can be sure that all our cigarettes remain the same great quality and taste you have come to expect from our brands.

    Hope this information helps.

    Regards


    Miss V Foster
    Consumer Services
    PO Box 83
    Nottingham
    NG7 5PR
    .................................................................................

    Fuck me! I never saw that new rule coming, or should i say, imposed on us!
     
  2. well you're a hideous stinky cancer ridden bag of tar who deserves all you get...it's God blowing your fag out to punish you for being smelly!! :thumright:



    Just thought i'd get that bit over and done!!
     
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  3. Yes i've noticed this, tin hat people think it's so people drag on them more and get more addicted. Pain in the backside and they taste different.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Take up crystal meth instead, no EU regulation no health warning, everyones a winner.
     
  5. What about that axe wound lost between your folds, it can down small aircraft?
     
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  6. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

    It's not your cancer sticks, it's your lungs. They're shot to fuck after a lifetime of abuse.
     

  7. but it can't give people around me cancer......heart failure/loss of sense of smell and general nausea yes, but cancer...no :D
     
    • Like Like x 2
  8. rampant

    rampant LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    It's not just the paper, but the reduction in additives and formaldahyde and acetone aswell, chemicals that were add to make the cigarette light more easy and prevent it going out. Actually a cunning ruse by cigarette manufacturers to get you to smoke/waste more cigarettes.

    If you bought a packet of additive free cigarettes, such as Natural American Spirit (or even rollies for that matter), you would find that they have a propensity to go out aswell if you don't keep drawing on them regularly and often
     
    • Like Like x 1
  9. I would imagine glue might be cheaper and more readilly available.
     


  10. If you look at a cigarette paper whether roll-up or t'other you'll see very fine blue lines which is the salt-petre to help make them burn..
     
  11. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Buy Russian snides. They go out 10 seconds after you light them.
     
  12. Well you can always leave the room.....
     
  13. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    WAH?
    Considering the thread title and the poster quoted,is this reply a wah? 'drag' 'pain in the backside' 'taste different' ?

    Or am I just reading too much into the post? :)
     
  14. How the doorway would be an insurmountable barrier to further progress!