Whats the stupidest thing that your mates have said?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Goodfella, Dec 3, 2005.

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  1. There is a similar thread elsewhere in this forum but titled 'What's the stupidest thing your missus has said?' but I thought i'd start this one to see what we get.

    I remember being in Lisanelly Barracks, Omagh one day with the lads watching TV. The news came on and there was a report saying that a man had been fatally wounded in a shooting outside a bar in Belfast. This was a daily occurence. One of the crowd then piped up and said 'They didn't say whether he was dead yet or not'. He didn't come up for much of a slagging after that...NOT

    He also used to swear that you could put the silver food trays into the microwave and warm food up in them which is an obvious no-no.
  2. Don't ask how it came up because I can't remember:

    "I wonder what saline tastes like?"

  3. Yesterday, one workmate asked another (who was eating a bacon sandwich at that point in time) "are you a Muslim". WTF???
    (I should point out that the one asking got a first in his engineering degree - so can hardly be described as an idiot)
  4. coming out for a quiet beer
  5. A few years back the missus and her friend were sitting watching a news report on euthanasia. The reporter mentioned that it was legal in the Netherlands and to this I said " I didn't realise it was legal anywhere". To which her friend says "yes, the euthanasians have been practicing mercy killings for some time"!?!

    I didn't have the heart to say anything.
  6. Soldier_Why

    Soldier_Why LE Moderator

    Few years back, just before Xmas stand down, one of the lads asked me if I was going up to Scotland for Mahogany!
  7. Are you coming for a couple of beers...

    And also...

    LT 'And for those going into the gym, youll have to go through me first'
    Que laughter and offers to take him up on that...
  8. T'was me I must admit.

    After two years in Germany I commented how us scaleys always did well in the Morrison Cup football Competition.

    It was gently pointed out to me that the competition was Royal Sigs only.
  9. On another trip as tropps embarked on an RFA (Perce/Geraint /Trist whatever) at nighttime, sprog on being given a R angled torch and told to go on 2 hour submarine watch (ho ho, knowing grins from the "sweats") says - what am I looking for anyway? Jeez....
  10. Do you want that sausage?
  11. A friend of mine took over driving from the rapidly beginning to fall asleep Pte. After being back on the road for about 10 mins, Pte says, "Fcuk me Sarge, did I give you the rover keys, I cant find them"!
  12. "N_T, you're only learning signlanguage so you can chat up blind girls aren't you."

  13. OK we will just pop out for a couple of beers.

  14. Whilst driving passed a car crash in Warrington my mucca winces

    "Fcukin ell crow, thats bad isnt it"

    "Yeah mate There'll be a few claims getting put in there"

    "Dya reckon? Nah i think people will just try and get compo out of it"

    and whilst over in the sand pit.


    "Dave you d1ckhead that was a shermuli"
  15. After 4 Hours on the A2 heading for UK....spoken by a Scalyback Sprog we had on board.....

    "Eh....This town Ausfahrt is a big feckin place innit?"