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Whats the funniest 5 Min lesson/Presentation you have seen?

#1
I've ran a quite a few DIT/BIT courses in my time and have seen some very funny 5 Min lessons. does anyone know of others they have seen or given?
Here's the recent ones;

1. How to Catch/Prepare/Cook a Fish
2. Face Painting for beginners
3. Laser pen Demo with target practice.
 
#4
How to fall asleep during a leadership cadre and not get caught

It even had its own pneumonic SLEEP


Snoring - Its a dead giveaway
Line of sight - Always ensure someone is between you and the instructor
Entrances - Keep a note of where they are, beware course DS entering from sidedoors unexpectantly
Elbows - Wedged on desks and hands jammed under chin, usefull to support the head and stop it rolling about, positon your pen to resemble taking notes
Premature awakening - If you wake with a start, don't shout, flinch or launch your pen in the air
 
#9
It was much longer than 5 mins, and it was on a relatively serious subject but the funniest lecture I saw in the Army was the "Medical" talk given by a RAMC Cpl on pre Yugoslavia training. Thsi was to over 200 troops of ranks from Private to Major.

He was hilarious, and his talk was without a doubt the highlight of the course.

Even the rather serious Lt Col running things got up at the end and said "How the f**k am I meant to follow that?"
 
#10
OPTAG 2004, the cinema in Sennelager packed to the rafters. Every bloke in there thinking the same "can't be fookin arrsed with this"

In the audience is every rank from private to brigadier..........

Out walks a WO2 medic type. The subject i think was health and hygiene in foreign climes.....................

Therein followed one of the funniest and most controversial lectures i have ever been privvy to!!!

I may be wrong but i'm sure this man's opening gambit was " if yer a dirty cünt out in the field you are gonna be a liability to yourself, your mates and the blokes that will CASEVAC your disease riddled arrse!!!"

This lecture contained EVERY anglo saxon word known to man and was very very un-p.c. Bearing in mind the instructional techniques outlined by the army i.e. no swearing etc.........it was fookin amazing...........and guess what i remember it!!!!...............i was sat 2 rows behind the Brig and he was pissing himself for 45 minutes.

awesome :D
 
#11
BlotBangRub said:
It was much longer than 5 mins, and it was on a relatively serious subject but the funniest lecture I saw in the Army was the "Medical" talk given by a RAMC Cpl on pre Yugoslavia training. Thsi was to over 200 troops of ranks from Private to Major.

He was hilarious, and his talk was without a doubt the highlight of the course.

Even the rather serious Lt Col running things got up at the end and said "How the f**k am I meant to follow that?"
It was a LCpl who gave the briefing to us, and yes, it was pant wettingly funny.

On my Class1 course, a mate was stitched up by another mate, and was given a 5 min lecture on Bell Ringing. Using other members of the course as 'Bells'( each with his own tone/ sound), 'D' went on to give an absolutely brilliant lecture
 
#12
One of the funniest I ever saw was when a student was doing the demo part of E.D.I.P. on a B.I.T. course several years back.

Just for the record he was teaching a highly original 'Origami' T.P. for his 20 min skills.

Anyway on the demo he filled his origami cup (Paper) up with water, thereby proving that the said origami cup could hold liquids.

Not satisfied with that, he then proceeded to hold it above a member of the class (His head.) At that point the paper cup decided to release its contents upon the poor unsuspecting person below.

At that moment all hell broke loose as a very wet & angry fijian :x leapt out of his chair looking like he was about to do 'The Cibi' :dance: on a very red faced & apologetic B.I.T. student. :oops:

And of course it was all caught on the trusty Trg Wg camcorder. :D
 
#13
How to change a nappy.

Complete with shite smeared "before" example which the instructor then used to explain how to check your childs health.

Judge the colour of the shite.
Smell,
Texture
and finally of course taste.

Had half the course heaving. :)

I am 90% sure that it was a Mars bar smear on the nappy but knowing the bloke who did the lecture perhaps not :?
 
#14
How to change a nappy with practical demo - top humour - plenty of opportunity for inuendo :wink:

The humorous pre-op medical brief is in fact largely scripted and has it's origins in the briefs given in antiquity by 2 Geordie environmental health technician/sexually transmitted disease nurse WO1 & WO2's known as 'Tab' and 'Fook-off' respectively. The subject matter does lend itself to stench pipe humour however and is guaranteed to raise a laugh.

Edited for bone spelling
 
#15
nurse_ratched said:
How to change a nappy with practical demo - top humour - plenty of opportunity for inuendo :wink:

The humorous pre-op medical brief is in fact largely scripted and has it's origins in the briefs given in antiquity by 2 Geordie environmental health technician/sexually transmitted disease nurse WO1 & WO2's known as 'Tab' and 'Fook-off' respectively. The subject matter does lend itself to stench pipe humour however and is guaranteed to raise a laugh.

Edited for bone spelling
Its been updated alot since "Tab"''s day - but granted some of the jokes are the same
 
#16
I had the (mis)fortune of watching an airborne loggie give a lesson on how to shave your pubes. The lesson began with a set of clippers on a desk and said loggie in Asslt Boots and leopard skin print thong! The thong didn't stay on for long. IIRC the aim, incentive and reason why all revolved around the fact that it made his c0ck look bigger! :lol:
 
#17
Once saw a lad give a lesson on how to spark up a ciggy covertly in the field. All this entailed was him sparking a smoke up in the classroom and showing everyone how to cup the smoke in the palm of his hand and smoke away!
 
#18
BlotBangRub said:
It was much longer than 5 mins, and it was on a relatively serious subject but the funniest lecture I saw in the Army was the "Medical" talk given by a RAMC Cpl on pre Yugoslavia training. Thsi was to over 200 troops of ranks from Private to Major.

He was hilarious, and his talk was without a doubt the highlight of the course.

Even the rather serious Lt Col running things got up at the end and said "How the f**k am I meant to follow that?"
Was that at Westdown in '96? I remember it particualrly because he warned us that alcoholism could not be treated by going "cold turkey". funnily enough that night they allowed us to have a few ales!
 
#20
A few years ago I saw someone get up to do a 5 min ice breaker. He stood in front of the class, gripped the lectern as if he was trying to rip the top off it, looked around the class with wide staring eyes at which point he went deathly white and started violently shaking the lectern before falling to the floor and fitting uncontrollably.

Hilarious
 

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