What's the best worst lie you've told or heard?

[RTU'd]

You hold a PPL and can neither spell or speak English? The footy player wasn't so dozy after all.

Oh sorry you must have been an Officer?
My Engrish is as good as the next youth on the block, Rupert.

 

[sirbhp]

Vote for me and well make Britain great again .

 

[target_stop]

"And when the guardroom lights were switched on it was actually the platoons sergeant daughter"

 

[bob_the_bomb]

I once told someone I was a commercial pilot when all I held was a PPL with Night Rating.
It was for a dozy footballer though that wanted to pay me £4k to get them up to the North West.
The ended up get a taxi up their as they thought it would look cooler to arrive in a merc.

David Ibbotson walt

 

[Albertous]

Oh sorry you must have been an Officer?
My Engrish is as good as the next youth on the block, Rupert.

. . . . . . . . . "Rupert, Sir" is the correct way to address an officer.