Whats the best way to get out of bed in the morning?

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by wee_face, Jan 15, 2004.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Am about to start at a prodigous military academy in the UK and was wondering if I could have some advice on how to get up.

    I have heard that its better to slide your body up, until you are sitting on the pillow, then flick your legs out, which means you have only to tighten up the blankets for inspection. I have tried this at home and find that the sheet becomes quite creased, will I get away with this?

    Also, I have been told not to use an alarm clock, as there is not going to be one in the field and I must start "getting grip" on my body clock.
    I used to set my alarm, a half-hour early, and use the snooze function every five minutes until I have to get up. Will this annoy follow comrades? I would prefer to use the latter, but would not want to lose performance in the field.

    Would appreciate answers soon as have only 3 months to practise before I start.
     
  2. Very funny. Starting mil training, but needs advice on how to get out of bed. The next generation of leaders? Where's this military academy? Combat 18 or something??
     
  3. msr

    msr LE

    Prodigious or Prestigious?

    msr
     
  4. Prodigious. I have been told that once I make a decision, right or wrong I must stick with it. Ha.
     
  5. ViroBono

    ViroBono LE Moderator

    I wouldn't worry about the alarm clock - the DS will undoubtedly be distracted by the empty Buckfast bottles under your bed.
     
  6. Get yourself a good manservant and have him bring you a cup of tea around about 0800.

    If any of those nasty DS types complain remind them that you are about to become an officer (and eventually a gentleman) and tell them to f### off.

    That should guarantee you a relaxed and comfortable time.
     
  7. When are you about to start? You've obviously missed the Jan entry, and even if you're on the Feb Rowallan Cadre (then May RMAS entry), you've still got plenty of time to sort your life out.

    Top tip is to ignore the bed for the first 5 weeks, in preference of a lightweight and concealable sleeping bag. You'll be so boggingly tired that you on't care about the comfort level. Problem solved.
     
  8. Yes, I've heard all about the piss ups, when I'm drunk I can sleep anywhere! Shouldn't be a problem then. The only one will be getting pissed fro 5 Weeks!!! and mummy said it was a bad idea!
     
  9. Alternatively you could:
    Sleep in your bed like an intelligent soldier
    and...
    make the fecker in the morning like you're meant to and...
    concentrate on phys, current affairs and getting forward and visiting as many battalions (the only things worth visiting - and not REME ones) as you can and spend as much time as you can with the ruddy soldiery with whom you will have the privilege to serve with...time spent with them before you're in command is gold dust. Just talk to the bastards, and get to understand what pisses them off and try to get what makes them tick. So you can come up with some really crap plans of your own one day.
    Sleeping bags indeed!
     
  10. Errrm. With a mild hangover and a fantastic looking bloke next to you in bed?

    What a stupid question.
     
  11. I always find getting out of bed dry helps. You have successfully navigated another nights wanders without swamping your pit and are therefore able to lead better men into battle :D
     
  12. I find a good honest w*nk helps me to get up and face a new day. Why waste morning glory?
     
  13. Why ever would you wish to get up? Surely you are going there to learn how your seniors & WOs do all your work for you?
    What you should be studying is how to stay in bed all day, only getting up late in the day to mess the troops about just before knocking off time.
    That way the troops will always be cursing you, your fellow officers think you are a damn good egg with a finger on the pulse, and you have the best messing the troops about stories to tell in the mess!
     
  14. WHEN I WAS A LAD WE DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO GO TO BED! WE WERE MADE TO BULL OUR BOOTS AND SHINE THE FLOORS! RODNEYS! HUH!
     
  15. Don't. Any questions?