Whats the best advice you have ever been given??

#1
Something that people give you is golden advice.... and it really has stuck with you

So whats your best and worst you have ever been told and share your nuggets of advice.....

Posted in the NAAFi for comedy gold value......
 
D

Djelli Beybii

Guest
#2
Home on leave many moons ago, really fit girl in the pub and I was getting along with her brilliantly.
Thought , yes, in here, scored..

Mate of mine spoke to me, to say that she was a proper mental case, and could turn in an instant.
Hmmm, excellent, a Danger Fuck I thought.
My mate advised that we fuck off to a different pub a bit rapidly to lose the nutter, much against my will I agreed and never saw her again.

2 weeks later, in the pub with mates on a Saturday night, turns out she had been arrested & sectioned for stabbing her new boyfriend repeatedly!!
 
#4
Don't eat yellow snow.
 
#5
I did and its not in there....
 
#8
Two ears, one gob.
 
#12
My mother used to write to me in Afghan, she always finished with "watch where you put your feet".
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
#13
a good bit of advice I was given many years ago, when its all going wrong and you cannot sort the problem out, walk away, wash your hands, have a cuppa and something to eat or go for a walk
then when you come back you will spot the thing you missed
the bloke I was apprenticed to taught me that an ex submariner
some years later trying to strip a Diesel engine I was getting nowhere, various idiots offered advice about using chisels and hammer and crowbars
I left the thing locked it up and went and had a nice long walk to the cafe after a small meal I returned and spotted the hidden bolts not shown in the manual,
cylinder head popped off easily
if i had used force 3 grands worth of engine would have been scrap plus the delay replacing it
 
#18
a good bit of advice I was given many years ago, when its all going wrong and you cannot sort the problem out, walk away, wash your hands, have a cuppa and something to eat or go for a walk
then when you come back you will spot the thing you missed
the bloke I was apprenticed to taught me that an ex submariner
some years later trying to strip a Diesel engine I was getting nowhere, various idiots offered advice about using chisels and hammer and crowbars
I left the thing locked it up and went and had a nice long walk to the cafe after a small meal I returned and spotted the hidden bolts not shown in the manual,
cylinder head popped off easily
if i had used force 3 grands worth of engine would have been scrap plus
the delay replacing it
.

Variation on a theme.
When you come under contact, once all the running round like a headless chicken has been done, let your 2ic take over and have a breather.

Only then figure out what you are going to do next - no matter what the DS (or even, god forbid, the enemy) are screaming at you.







Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
 

Mr_Fingerz

LE
Book Reviewer
#19
Never waste your money on slow horses or fast women.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#20
Best advice I received was this evening, a wise man said, "don't believe a word of Stonker's waffle."
 

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