Whats happening to the NAAFI bar

Right then

It is clear that the NAAFI bar has been growing dull over recent weeks.

We owe it to ourselves to lower the tone, inject more vulgarness and portray the correct image of the Brit squaddie. Otherwise we may as well throw on flowery dresses and call ourselves Penelope

To back up my statement I am singing the theme tune to Monty Python and lagging on my monitor ;D


Shake up, great idea.

As well as more vulgarity, perhaps we could have less of the teeth grindingly bad, double entendre jokes with the purported females on the net. A phenomena guaranteed to drag a promising thread into mid table obscurity


Male Poster - I've got a c*ck
Female Poster - Ooh I bet you have
MP - Yes I have
FP - Oooh i'd love you to let me have it
MP - Ooh I bet you would
FP - Yes I would
MP - Right then
FP - OOoh saucy

Etc etc etc etc etc - continue till MP reaches vinegars, and FP as well (as she's probably an MP)

Just my opinion
Agree mate, although I am one of the biggest offenders.

Just ask the trouts to stop harassing me for jig jig and its a go.

Don't say you want less taunting of the Puffs and firemen though


The taunting is entertaining, but i'm a non contributor in that direction (apart from an early, misguided, pissed up haymaker at the TA, which missed by four feet).

The stuff I like on this means are the memories and banter of people with a story to tell. The "Basic training - the good old days" and "DS phrase book" had me p*ssing my sides at some of the postings.

And now to celebrate my (almost) promotion to Sect2IC I will make an inflammatory statement.

"I have never read a post by a female (pretend or real) in the NAAFI bar forum that I found funny".
A very gracious apology, but having read the original thread I think you are being too hard on yourself.  Your central point, that the world would be a better place if these two TA Walter Mittys were fed their own entrails seems fair enough to me.  The mistake you made was to assume that they were representative of all TA soldiers (remember, until they serve with a regular unit, many TA soldiers believe on the evidence available that all regulars are chubby, bitter, passed over welfare cases who can only pass a CFT from inside a Landrover and confuse proper equipment husbandry with shouting "FU CK OFF" at anyone who tries to draw any kit for training). :)

Anyway, perhaps we need a "Walter" thread.  My vote goes either to the NISS bloke I saw with a 30 round mag in the 9mm pistol he had sticking out of his chest webbing, or the OTC cadet I saw wearing a CBA outer cover during a blank firing exercise like it was actually body armour. ;D ;D ;D

Remembers where he is, farts nervously, follows through, mumbles something about going to the bog and legs it.  Found by guard lying in flower bed with brogues full of piss and singing "Blaydon Races":-X
Oi, Woopert, less of that you big girl's blouse!  :mad:

I've been allowed in the NAAFI bar by the big boys for over an hour now without anyone chinning me and I'm fully ale'd up on a half bottle of dog and the heady knowledge that any minute now I'm going to put a foot wrong and get punched by someone.   ;D ;D ;D

Anyway, what are you doing in here in those moleskins, you poseur?  At least my strides are only yellow 'cos I've swamped 'em.  :-*
Oi, Woopert, less of that you big girl's blouse!  :mad:
He's right Woopert, you are a wuss ;D Get out of the NAAFI you lightweight, tweed blazered, dog feltcher ;D
Doe nutse, you're only jealous because even if I was feltching a Dalmation, it's a better looking bitch that anything you could lay your hands on.
Not what your Frau said when i climbed out of her trumping pipe, and wiped my hampton on your Wooley pully ;D

Oh, I noted the size of your pullover, my what a small chest you have, good job you've only got a poncy medal or two to pin on it ;D

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