Whatever happened to the Batting service

#21
most messes get around the hot brew service by providing brew kit in the rooms - which personally i prefer.

Ref ironing and polishing etc, this is in most contracts but simply ignored.

We interrorgated the contract (after some terrible service) and dug up the batting service bit...it was trialled for a few weeks but was so poorly done offrs stopped using it and the contractor said they weren't prepared to provide the service as it wasn't being used.

On of the biggest problems is the monitoring of the contract which is often done by the bde / garrison FSO which is often a junior RLC food services officer with little or no experience of contract management and very little evidence of the contract failing (less anecdoatal evidence and moaning) as comments books aren't used
 
#22
So how can we unite and bring to light this appalling service?

Power to the people! Seriously though, it is arrse and needs sorting out. We have complained in the past but it does seem to fall on deaf ears.
 
#23
zxninerpilot said:
So how can we unite and bring to light this appalling service?
Get medieval on the contract and start filling up the mess comments books with every minor deficency you note, this will kick start the system at least.

My experience is apathy amongst mess members is the biggest danger to preserving a good service
 
#24
goon_bde said:
zxninerpilot said:
So how can we unite and bring to light this appalling service?
Get medieval on the contract and start filling up the mess comments books with every minor deficency you note, this will kick start the system at least.

My experience is apathy amongst mess members is the biggest danger to preserving a good service
I fear that the comments book would be the size of a telephone directory after a rather short period of time! Off to raid the stationery store as we speak.
 
#25
take your point but we need to stand up to these contractors. they get paid for delivering a very claerly defined service. If it is not being delivered to the letter, they should be challenged.
 
#26
Outstanding said:
take your point but we need to stand up to these contractors. they get paid for delivering a very claerly defined service. If it is not being delivered to the letter, they should be challenged.
Sadly, it doesn't seem to be being delivered to the nearest paragraph. I took the matter up with the PMC, who felt that his hands were very much tied insofar as if he put pressure on the contractors, they would give up and leave as they were poorly paid. The net result would be that we would therefore have no staff in the mess and nothing would get done.

The fact that they were doing something as laid down in the contract was, apparently, a bonus!!!
 
#27
Most new contracts do include a batting service but the Authority only want to pay for the iron & ironing board to be provided. The boot cleaning kit provided collectively and the morning call being a teasmade in each room. It is down to money and what the authority will pay for.
 
#28
Viking_Raider said:
Mr_C_Hinecap said:
Ohh - you get your plonker pulled and it all kicks off - small man?

This is the Officer's Mess - I'd ask you to keep such 'Tom' behaviour in the NAAFI or Brecon or wherever the Paras are being useful this month.
Do you not realise how you portray yourself by posting such drivel. If you are an officer i'm sure many officers on this forum must be of the opinion that you are in a minority. i.e. a cock. I'm sure many officers hold my regiment in high esteem.
Viking Raider,
What are you doing in this forum? If you are a serving Para Reg officer then you're not like any that I know. If you're not then why are you trying to big time and slag off everyone else. Most people in the Army got over the "my Regt is best and everyone else is a knobber" attitude after week 2.
 
#30
I know of a couple of messes where the batting service still works. It is however an area where the contractor tries to get out of the obligation at every opportunity.

Love the comments from Viking-Raider, always good to get a balanced and constructive view point from the meat-bombs. Remember that the answer to every question V-R is that the rest of us are all hats and all officers are c***s (except in the Reg of course - that goes without saying).
 
#31
Problem with the contracts is that unless they set out the standard to which the service is to be delivered, then you are a bit f#cked.
 
#33
Viking_Raider said:
I think it has slowly dawned on soldiers that officers are complete cunts.

Except Para Regt ones of course! :D

No you're wrong, most Parachute Regiment soldiers would say that too. Talked to one recently (ever)?
 
#34
Batting! Ahhhh, what a glorious memory! Well, several actually:

The first was when we lived in Dusseldorf in the early '70s. Father was at HQ Rhine Area (don't suppose that exists anymore?). We, or rather, Father, was entitled to the services of what was called a 'Green Man' (they wore green overalls)! We had George! A lovely Polish ex-PoW, who because of the Russians, couldn't be repatriated at the end of WW2. There were hordes of these fellows - they all lived in barracks, followed a sort of military code and did 'odd jobs' around camp - batting, gardening, sweeping up leaves and other vital Cold War tasks. There were another type called 'Blue Men', these were a bit brighter, and wore blue overalls and they acted as drivers.

Following a posting to Fallingbostal and on becoming 2ic of 42nd Heavy Regt RA, 'we' got Gunner Dennis Portman as the Batman. He became very much part of the family - I couldn't understand a word he said (he was from Yorkshire, you understand), but as an 11 year old, was fascinated by his continual consumption of foul smelling cigarettes, yellow fingers and his amazing ability to turn my school shoes into something looking like polished glass! He 'lived' in the cellar at home, in what was known as 'Portman's Office'! He arrived early every morning and relit the coke fired boilers in the cellar (next to his'office'), made tea, and then generally hid until it was time to go home to the block again.

Roll the clock forward a few years, and I wake up one fine August morn in Lisanelly Barracks Omagh, fresh from Sandhurst, where we DID have a batting service - they were called Servants (I think?) and were bloody expensive if you asked them to brandish a bulling rag, whatsmore they weren't that good either! Back to Omagh - at 0700hrs my door is flung open, a strange elderly man flies in muttering something with an Irish twang.... I sit up, 'is this yet another stitch-up?' thinks I, No, it's Ted!! He, the bringer of tea (cold) and good cheer, first thing in the morning! He would 'bull' anything that wasn't nailed down (ex Irish Guards), including a fellow subaltern's brand new Church's suede brogues!! Whoops. The Mess had a few of these worthies.

Then on to Gib - what a difference a time zone can make. We swapped the genial bon-homie, warmth and Irish banter of Ted and his chums for a crowd of surly thieving spics. One of the little toe-rags was caught it an RMP sting operation involving a video recorder, a lever arch file and a drop of luck- this latter due entirely to the stupidity of said Spic. Needless to say they let him off scot free - didn't want a mass walk out of all the native workers on the Rock! One chap, called Pedro, believe it or not, was pleasant enough, but had a tendancy to put ones laundry away whilst still damp. Clothes rotted or went mouldy at the drop of a hat in Gib, so this was a real bore!

Finally, whilst in a secret headquarters in London, I shared the services of my Brigadier's soldier servant! A splendid Jock Guards L/Cpl. His job was apparently Radio operator and driver - Cpl 'G' didn't have a driving license, he was nearly 40 years old, after all! And couldn't use a telephone, let alone a radio!! But, he was shit-hot with a yellow duster!
 
#35
I was lucky enough to have the use of a batting service for eleven years. This extended to cleaning, washing, drying, ironing and even cooking meals.

It is over now, still costs me £350 a month and an estimated £27000 to buy said batting person out of my pension.

Far better off doing it all yourself, you save money and sometimes may have be able to enjoy a sexual experience without the promise of buying said batting person a new ball gown!!!
 
#36
Those of us priviledged enough to belong to the mess at Middle Wallop are fortunate to be woken with a cup of tea every morning, we get 1 large bag of laundry done every week and get silver service 4 times/week, which is all rather jolly bon. Can i recommend people transfer to the AAC?
 
#37
Yes, but then you can also have gravy and sauces various spilt down the back of your suit by certain older members of staff at Middle Wallop. :D
 
#38
Viking_Raider said:
Do you not realise how you portray yourself by posting such drivel.
Alanis Morrisette could write you a song about this you know.

Viking_Raider said:
If you are an officer i'm sure many officers on this forum must be of the opinion that you are in a minority. i.e. a cock.
If he isn't an officer would other officers on this site still thing he was in a minority? Are cocks in a minority? From what I can tell most posters here are complete Cvunts and it looks like we've just got another (me included by the way - everyone thinks I'm an arrse - does that make me in a majority?)

Viking_Raider said:
I'm sure many officers hold my regiment in high esteem.
The ones that do do.

Back on post - Th contract defines the relationship, no contractor can walk away from a contract without running into some type of penalty (unless it was written by an idiot - ahem), the problem is that vendor managers are too weak to impose them and sub standard service ensues.
 
#39
Getting back to the point, why do you need someone to carry your bags, press your clothes (or offer mild relief) for that err tension you may have?
 
#40
IIRC there used to be something in the contract at Larkhill recently. However, I'm sure we were asked not to use the service as they didn't have enough staff to do the cleaning and normal mess jobs, let alone "batting".

No more Batmen of course as there ar ebarely enough soldiers to try and fill ORBATs, let alone mis-employing someone as a personal beeatch.

If the civilian contract has retained the Batting section, it is usually refined to kettle and brew kit in your room, laundry of bed linen. Wriggled out of due to staff shortages, either real or manufactured (if you employ 3 staff members too few, you save on overheads and Sodexho make more wonga).

Personally for a lot of reasons (particular brew tastes, ironing done right, laziness not to polish own footwear) I am glad that the civvie staff at my current Regiment don't bat for the Officers. Oh and I live out, so I am doubly glad that the idle livers-in don't get away with more admin!

I am, of course, not going to imply to Mrs D_S that she take up batting duties for fear of the repercussions (may involve real bats - wooden variety, not winged rodents).
 

Similar threads


Latest Threads

Top