Whatever happened to the Batting service

Discussion in 'Officers' started by Outstanding, Sep 15, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Time was when an officer could leave his boots and uniform outisde his room of an evening to find it all spick and span in the morning, having been awolen with alovely cup of piping hot tea. For a few quid one had ones bed made and room tidied and by arrangement a chap would ervn do your laundry. Its all gone down the drain nowadays, you're lucky not to be mugged in the mess corridir!!
  2. I think it has slowly dawned on soldiers that officers are complete cunts.

    Except Para Regt ones of course! :D
  3. I say that's a bit strong, anyway its good to be useful!
  4. Indeed. Things usually dawn on Para Regt more slowly than everyone else.
  5. As i have been told on many occasions, funnily enough only over the internet! The DS in Brecon and all other courses must be really biased considering Para Regt seem to always come top or not far off top of nearly every course which is ran. :)
  6. Paras are good at running around Brecon. Great. And that proves what? They can do gravity and one other thing. I am impressed.

    We still have a batting service - but it is a bit pants. Mad old women who can't clean very well have to be employed somewhere I guess. Shame we can't get the Polish immigrants in as replacements.
  7. It proves we are obviously good at doing our job. Something you probably know nothing about you fucking bellend. Now fuckoff and annoy someone else you cock.
  8. Ohh - you get your plonker pulled and it all kicks off - small man?

    This is the Officer's Mess - I'd ask you to keep such 'Tom' behaviour in the NAAFI or Brecon or wherever the Paras are being useful this month.
  9. Do you not realise how you portray yourself by posting such drivel. If you are an officer i'm sure many officers on this forum must be of the opinion that you are in a minority. i.e. a cock. I'm sure many officers hold my regiment in high esteem.
  10. Been to High Wycombe recently? Last time I checked the mess staff were all from east of the Rhine.

    Stafford used to be good, there were only 6 or 7 livers in so the staff could still provide you with a cup of tea in the morning. There are rumours from the dark days of the Cold War that for a tip (left beside your bed in the morning) some of the less rsatrained members of the mess staff would wake you up with a casual spot of fellatio.
  11. The_Duke

    The_Duke LE Moderator

    It's mega in the Paras...every meal a banquet, every payday a fortune...

    And we were lucky if the washing machines and showers worked in the mess, let alone a batting service.

    Mind you, they never worked in the SNCOs mess or Jnr ranks blocks either, so at last we were consistent!
  12. How did they get past the SC checks etc?
  13. Wot ? Colonels, Brigadiers etc doing their own ironing, you mean ?
  14. I'm offering a batting service ... it involves a cricket bat with a nail in it! You fcuking James Blunt!!
  15. I can't imagine they do much more than a rudimentary security check, they work for SERCO, the mess is outside of the wire and is not exactly a harbour of national secrets. I presume the cleaners in CAOC 9 are more stringently assessed!