Whatever happened to (insert ARRSE member here)?

In the middle of last August 2018, I heard the dog in the ground floor flat barking its' head off. It is a Great Dane and you can't not hear it' I was expecting a mail delivery, so I made the assumption that it was Postman Pat, so I opened my front door and promptly fell down the stairs. I broke my back in two places, wrecked my kidneys, bowel and bladder. I started collapsing all over the place and eventually, the people in the flat below mine called the Police. Initially, two Officers turned up and broke down my front door. Apparently I was in such a mess that 3 other officers turned up before the ambulance crew did. I spent months in the Bristol Royal Infirmary, although I can't remember much, although the care, treatment and affection that I got was terrific.. Basically, I have tried to keep a low profile since then.
Thats‘s all well and good but why haven’t you been posting?
 
In the middle of last August 2018, I heard the dog in the ground floor flat barking its' head off. It is a Great Dane and you can't not hear it' I was expecting a mail delivery, so I made the assumption that it was Postman Pat, so I opened my front door and promptly fell down the stairs. I broke my back in two places, wrecked my kidneys, bowel and bladder. I started collapsing all over the place and eventually, the people in the flat below mine called the Police. Initially, two Officers turned up and broke down my front door. Apparently I was in such a mess that 3 other officers turned up before the ambulance crew did. I spent months in the Bristol Royal Infirmary, although I can't remember much, although the care, treatment and affection that I got was terrific.. Basically, I have tried to keep a low profile since then.
Well, at least you are still with us, and hopefully on the mend.

Next time, get your porn on the internet, not delivered through the door.

All the best.
 

petetheplane

LE
Book Reviewer
Thats‘s all well and good but why haven’t you been posting?
You want to know why I haven't been posting? Well, for the last 14 months, I have either been in hospital or under care in North Somerset. I have had the finest treatment at the hospitals at BRI, Southmead, Clevedon and Weston-super-Mare. After 14 months, I have been finally passed as fit. I own my flat. No mortgage, no debts, no nothing. What I truly resent is to walk into the living room of my own home and, turn my PC on and then find out that I have been insulted by some utterly useless dog-wank from Arrse.
 
You want to know why I haven't been posting? Well, for the last 14 months, I have either been in hospital or under care in North Somerset. I have had the finest treatment at the hospitals at BRI, Southmead, Clevedon and Weston-super-Mare. After 14 months, I have been finally passed as fit. I own my flat. No mortgage, no debts, no nothing. What I truly resent is to walk into the living room of my own home and, turn my PC on and then find out that I have been insulted by some utterly useless dog-**** from Arrse.
I slightly sense he is taking the mick,which is what servicemen the world over do to one another.................
 
You want to know why I haven't been posting? Well, for the last 14 months, I have either been in hospital or under care in North Somerset. I have had the finest treatment at the hospitals at BRI, Southmead, Clevedon and Weston-super-Mare. After 14 months, I have been finally passed as fit. I own my flat. No mortgage, no debts, no nothing. What I truly resent is to walk into the living room of my own home and, turn my PC on and then find out that I have been insulted by some utterly useless dog-**** from Arrse.
It's your own fault for living in a flat like some kind of poor person.

You're single too, quelle suprise.
 
You want to know why I haven't been posting? Well, for the last 14 months, I have either been in hospital or under care in North Somerset. I have had the finest treatment at the hospitals at BRI, Southmead, Clevedon and Weston-super-Mare. After 14 months, I have been finally passed as fit. I own my flat. No mortgage, no debts, no nothing. What I truly resent is to walk into the living room of my own home and, turn my PC on and then find out that I have been insulted by some utterly useless dog-**** from Arrse.
tenor.gif
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
It's your own fault for living in a flat like some kind of poor person.

You're single too, quelle suprise.

Both of the above mean more disposable income.

I won't bother to invite you to my town apartment any more.
 
In the middle of last August 2018, I heard the dog in the ground floor flat barking its' head off. It is a Great Dane and you can't not hear it' I was expecting a mail delivery, so I made the assumption that it was Postman Pat, so I opened my front door and promptly fell down the stairs. I broke my back in two places, wrecked my kidneys, bowel and bladder. I started collapsing all over the place and eventually, the people in the flat below mine called the Police. Initially, two Officers turned up and broke down my front door. Apparently I was in such a mess that 3 other officers turned up before the ambulance crew did. I spent months in the Bristol Royal Infirmary, although I can't remember much, although the care, treatment and affection that I got was terrific.. Basically, I have tried to keep a low profile since then.
This makes no sense

"Opened my front door and fell down the stairs" You either fell down stairs leading up to your flat or up to your front door. As part of this, you broke your back in two places etc. and yet "you started to collapse" and the police had to break into your flat? So, you fall down stairs outside your flat, then miraculously teleport inside your flat where you are walking around with a broken back and damaged internals.

The whiff of bullshit is strong.
 

petetheplane

LE
Book Reviewer
I slightly sense he is taking the mick,which is what servicemen the world over do to one another.................
I aren't a serviceman, but one of the Merchant Navy. We are allowed to be bombed, torpedoed or mined, but not allowed to fight back. 34,000 merchant civilian deaths in WW2 proved that.
 

petetheplane

LE
Book Reviewer
This makes no sense

"Opened my front door and fell down the stairs" You either fell down stairs leading up to your flat or up to your front door. As part of this, you broke your back in two places etc. and yet "you started to collapse" and the police had to break into your flat? So, you fall down stairs outside your flat, then miraculously teleport inside your flat where you are walking around with a broken back and damaged internals.

The whiff of bullshit is strong.
 

NSP

LE
This makes no sense

"Opened my front door and fell down the stairs" You either fell down stairs leading up to your flat or up to your front door. As part of this, you broke your back in two places etc. and yet "you started to collapse" and the police had to break into your flat? So, you fall down stairs outside your flat, then miraculously teleport inside your flat where you are walking around with a broken back and damaged internals.

The whiff of bullshit is strong.
Especially as most multiple-occupancies prohibit pets as a condition of the lease. My buildings leasehold certainly does - and it's only a small block; ten flats.
 
You want to know why I haven't been posting? Well, for the last 14 months, I have either been in hospital or under care in North Somerset. I have had the finest treatment at the hospitals at BRI, Southmead, Clevedon and Weston-super-Mare. After 14 months, I have been finally passed as fit. I own my flat. No mortgage, no debts, no nothing. What I truly resent is to walk into the living room of my own home and, turn my PC on and then find out that I have been insulted by some utterly useless dog-**** from Arrse.

So the sense of humour bypass worked well then?
 
You want to know why I haven't been posting? Well, for the last 14 months, I have either been in hospital or under care in North Somerset. I have had the finest treatment at the hospitals at BRI, Southmead, Clevedon and Weston-super-Mare. After 14 months, I have been finally passed as fit. I own my flat. No mortgage, no debts, no nothing. What I truly resent is to walk into the living room of my own home and, turn my PC on and then find out that I have been insulted by some utterly useless dog-**** from Arrse.
I’m not at home to Mr Grumpy Trousers.
 

NSP

LE
You utterly worthless piece of Arrse shit.
I thought you'd finally taken that 200m walk down your 100m beach in your heaviest boots. I am sadly disappointed to find otherwise.
 
I aren't a serviceman, but one of the Merchant Navy. We are allowed to be bombed, torpedoed or mined, but not allowed to fight back. 34,000 merchant civilian deaths in WW2 proved that.
You utterly worthless piece of Arrse shit.

I think that you might have accidentally ended up on the wrong website - and certainly the wrong sub-forum.

This place doesn't have a 'Safe Space'.

In fact most of the members haven't got a fucking clue what one of those is. Me included.
 

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