Army Rumour Service

Register a free account today to join our community
Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site, connect with other members through your own private inbox and will receive smaller adverts!

What Your Car & Other Inanimate Objects collect and Know About You.

My car knows that others drivers are cünts, cyclists are cünts, pedestrians are cünts, dogs of pedestrians are cünts, this roads a cünt, the weathers a cünt, the radios a cünt and what are you doing you fücking stupid car, I never asked for that.

Now if someone can get a marketing angle out of that, well done them.
 
My car knows that others drivers are cünts, cyclists are cünts, pedestrians are cünts, dogs of pedestrians are cünts, this roads a cünt, the weathers a cünt, the radios a cünt and what are you doing you fücking stupid car, I never asked for that.

Now if someone can get a marketing angle out of that, well done them.
My car knows remainers are cünts, it also knows that JC, D Flabbot and the rest of the Labour Party front benches are cünts & Traitors.
 
My car knows that others drivers are cünts, cyclists are cünts, pedestrians are cünts, dogs of pedestrians are cünts, this roads a cünt, the weathers a cünt, the radios a cünt and what are you doing you fücking stupid car, I never asked for that.

Now if someone can get a marketing angle out of that, well done them.
They have it's called a Mercedes C class
 
My car knows that, despite being a Peugeot* and thus derided by Clarkson, Hammond and the other one, it can take on a fucktonne of water and win. Mostly...

Floods_20191219_01.jpg

Floods_20191219_03.jpg
Floods_20191219_08.jpg
Floods_20191219_09.jpg
Floods_20191219_10.jpg
Floods_20191219_17.jpg
Floods_20191219_18.jpg


This one is so dark because the headlights are completely immersed. The air intake for the engine is just to right of the left-hand headlight and level with the top of it. Little darlin' still thudded on, though. Hell of a machine...!
Floods_20191219_19.jpg


It'll even stand sliding off the road into a flooded ditch and then being pulled back on to it by some agriculturalists in a tractor...
Floods_20191219_06.jpg


It didn't think much of being forced to reverse out of some deep water because some twat had abandoned their care high and dry in the middle of the lane instead of turning around or dumping it in the adjacent gateway or on the verge, though...
Floods_20191219_25.jpg


What it knows at the moment is, "I'm still a bit damp in here hence the musty smell."



* And not a big one, either - 5-dr 208, 1.2l 3-cyl 82BHP.
 
In the olden days, before smartphones, the only way us cops could access the internet was to call into police premises and use a desktop.

An attractive, senior, female officer called into our office and asked to use our desktop. We logged her in and left her alone with a brew.

About an hour after she left I accessed the machine. When it woke up her email login screen was still open.....

chestyblond@*****

Unfortunately we could not recover the password.
 
Top