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what you drive, and what it says about you.

#1
having spent the last 7 years working in the accident repair business , i have come to categorise people by the cars they drive , which says a lot more about you than you might think, heres a few examples.

the Rover.
you know absolutely f-uck all about cars , are almost definitley over 96 wear string back gloves , and have a "driving jacket",you always buy british , and wouldn't think about driving one of those horrible japanese cars because of the war .... well i've got news for you grandad , up till recently most of them had honda engines.
if this is an automatic , then invariably i am repairing your car because you "panicked and trod on the wrong pedal" and you have totalled your garage and/or wife/pet/garden wall.... please hurry up and die , the worlds getting terribly overcrowded.

the Mercedes.
2 distinct sub groups here.
1.the car has done 18652428795486 miles , you are asian , and want me to do "proper job" and apparently , when you hit the car in front of you , it damaged every other panel on your car (even the rusty ones) and you want me to do "proper job" on those to.
2. you are a stuck up c-unt who needs to be reminded that anywhere else in the world the only thing people would think about your car is "oh good a cab"

the BMW.
where do i start......
see that little stick thing coming out just by your steering wheel.....
THAT'S YOUR F*CKING INDICATORS YOU IGNORANT PLUM.

the peugeot 406
again 2 sub groups.
1.the family work horse , bit tatty and smells of ground in farleys rusk and dogs p1ss , generally being repaired because mum ran into the back of a bus because she was trying to tazer little timmy in the back seat.
2.the nigerian mini cab driver , this vehicle has already been written of 6 times , and repaired for a combined price of £17.46 is held together with a combination of poor filler work , rust and black maskers .... it's done even more miles than the aforementioned Merc , and smells of .... well , Nigerian mini cab drivers.

the Jaguar.
you are labouring under the misapprehension that you have bought a british classic and look down your nose at everyone else.
un-f*cking lucky then , because you've bought a ford mondeo with wood for a dashboard har har har de har.

the citroen saxo/peugeot 106.
the ammount of spoilers and tinting will determine your place in the w-ankers heirachy , but i hope you've declared them to your insurance company you maggot or they will kick your claim out and cancel your policy (three this week already ... back of the net!!)

these are of course all broad stereotypes , but from experience i'm right 7 out of 10 times .... feel free to add your own.
 
#4
you are a frustrated kamikaze pilot , unless it's one of thos hideous f*cking suzuki faux 4 wheel drives in which case you are either a hairdresser or a fudge packer.

suzuki.... think once , think twice think ... er , perhaps we should stick to building bikes. :)
 
#10
Landrover whats that say? other than the fact I'm on the slippery slope to flat capsville and finding the inner workings of a 3.5 efi engine interesting :oops:
 
#19
Lippy said:
Blackcat said:
Landrover whats that say? other than the fact I'm on the slippery slope to flat capsville and finding the inner workings of a 3.5 efi engine interesting :oops:
and that is virtually painless pet :wink:
Ahh lipster how are you?, you still driving that shop mobility carriage around? :D
 

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