What would you want in you're jiffy bag?

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Oggy69, Mar 16, 2003.

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  1. I've been informed that we're allowed to send a jiffy bag with a max of 2 Kg worth of goodies to our bods in the Gulf.

    Could I have some suggestions, on what the guys and girls need or require due to shortages.

    Please keep it sensible, I'd like to think that we could help someone's husband/wife from sending a 2 Kg bag of salted peanuts to their loved ones, as happened to me on GW1!
  2. Baby wipes for sand in awkward places, crossword/puzzle books and sweets/nice things. This week I will be mostly sending though magazines eg: FHM, Maxim, Loaded and Bizzare.
  3. Condoms to cover the end of the gat and stop sand getting in.
  4. A set of dezzies - as still lots of punters without them :mad:
  5. A jazz mag or two. FHM, Bike mag, Monopoly, tunnocks tea cakes- mmmmmmmmm tunnocks tea cakes.
  6. How much does Kylie weigh?
  7. Kinky lipstick - or just a quick way to get around a leg wax?
  8. If your man could send you something in a jiffy bag (2kg or under BFPO stylie) what would you want?
  10. Can you send alcohol to friends deployed in the gulf?
  11. Pound Stretcher shops sell the large bags of sweets (blackjacks, gobstoppers, drumstick lollipops, etc) for a quid each.  Essential items whilst on stag.
  12. HAHAHAHA.......good one FP, good one! ;D ;D ;D
  13. Have you ever done this Wooooopert?  Or have you actually ever seen anyone do this?  

    I didn't think so...........
  14. Army commandos used condoms on their sten guns during WWII. The sten had a worse reputation than the SA80 A1.  The condom had to stretch from the muzzle to the rear of the ejection opening to be effecive in preventing shit and corruption from entering the weapon. Remember that unlike SA80, the Sten fired from an open bolt position which revealed a large empty hole behind the ejection opening.

    Condoms then were not as elastic as the fellas we know and love today (a tad thicker too) and were prone to tearing. Net problem was that they were not quite long enough for the job. So, they asked procurement for thousands of condoms 11 inches long. Natuarlly no one in procurement at the War Office was going to sign this one off (rubber in short supply?) so the request kept being passed on up the chain until it was brought up under any other business at a meeting of the full War Cabinet.

    "Prime Minister, it would apper that the Army Commando would like 8,000 condoms, 11 inches long"

    Churchill replied: "The commandos can have them on one condition, they are to be stamped 'Made in England, size small'."
  15. I can't believe I didn't reply to this thread before!

    Jiffy Bag Contents: a pocket guide to grammar, with a special chapter on the use of the apostrophe.  ;)

    Pedantic, me? :)