What would you shout on Mon 16 Apr 07?

Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by Litotes, Apr 15, 2007.

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  1. Sunday's papers are full of nothing but the story of "the 15" and Des Browne (well, there is another story but I don't want to be banned!).

    Our Esteemed Leader has to stand in front of the House of Commons tomorrow and explain what happened. The opportunities for sharp one-liners will be many. The experts, led by Dennis Skinner and William Hague, will, no doubt, be sharpening their claws now (except that Dennis will have to stuff a cork in his mouth because Des is supposed to be on his side).

    In order to help the MPs whose names are not Hague and Skinner, can I throw open the floor to my fellow ARRSErs? What one-liners, insults and compliments (we have to be fair after all, and the MOD has managed to keep Fleet Street completely employed for the last 10 days) could an MP throw at Des Browne tomorrow in the Commons (note; swearing is not allowed in Parliament)?

    Litotes
     
  2. Hmm that could put a halt to the proceedings :D

    Mr Speaker can we ask The Secretary of State for Defence to reveal the secret of how he single-handedly managed to do what the Armada, Napoleon, The Kaiser and Adolf Hitler couldn't - destroy the morale and image of the Fleet? This amazing feat cannot be purely due to his incompetence.
     
  3. Mr Speaker, Could the Right Honourable Gentleman explain to the House how running the Ministry of Defence is like making love to a beautiful woman?
     
  4. Mr Speaker, Could the Right Honourable Spineless Snivelling Little Toady explain to the House AGAIN how the decision to allow the selling of stories was not his fault, as it it's was a 'Navy decision'? I'm sure we could all do with a laugh.
     
  5. The only thing I would throw at him would be a brick ..... with a note attached Marked : TWAT !! PS the other side of this note is your P 45 YOU'RE SACKED TOSSER !
     
  6. Mr Speaker, Could the Right Honourable Gentleman inform the House whether comments made in the Sunday Observer regarding what amounts to the gagging of service families when their loved ones are injured is true? and if the comments are true under which laws and/or regulations he intends to enforce this restriction of personal freedoms?
     
  7. "Mr Speaker, how much will it cost to get the Rt Honourable member for Kilmarnock to tell the true story of what really transpired within his august department of state? Only I have an offer from the Sun he might be interested in..." (Westminster version)

    or

    "Fess up yah weegie bastid or I'll chib ye, ye lying shilpit nyaff." (Holyrood)
     
  8. Mr Speaker, Could the Right Honourable Gentleman inform the House who exactly runs his Ministry - the Secretary of State or the Second Sea Lord?
     
  9. Nice suit.... where did you get it?

    Litotes
     
  10. Oliver Cromwell

    o Address to the Rump Parliament (20 April 1653)


    * Speech dissolving the First Protectorate Parliament (22 January 1655)
     
  11. Still struggling with the no swearing
     
  12. And calling somebody 'Honourable'.
     
  13. I'd take a step back in the proceedings, and ask something along the lines of:

    "Would the Secretary of State not agree that the best way to have averted this highly embarrassing and ever more acrimonious situation would have been to ensure that the boarding party had the right training, equipment, ROE and fire support to prevent them from being detained in the first place?”
     
  14. And what plans are there to amend the ROE so that in future members of our 'ARMED FORCES' don't have to allow themselves to be be captured so as to avoid upsetting a Government and people we otherwise don't give a monkey's about!
     
  15. Three hours and no punch line?

    Litotes