What would you shout on Mon 16 Apr 07?

#1
Sunday's papers are full of nothing but the story of "the 15" and Des Browne (well, there is another story but I don't want to be banned!).

Our Esteemed Leader has to stand in front of the House of Commons tomorrow and explain what happened. The opportunities for sharp one-liners will be many. The experts, led by Dennis Skinner and William Hague, will, no doubt, be sharpening their claws now (except that Dennis will have to stuff a cork in his mouth because Des is supposed to be on his side).

In order to help the MPs whose names are not Hague and Skinner, can I throw open the floor to my fellow ARRSErs? What one-liners, insults and compliments (we have to be fair after all, and the MOD has managed to keep Fleet Street completely employed for the last 10 days) could an MP throw at Des Browne tomorrow in the Commons (note; swearing is not allowed in Parliament)?

Litotes
 
#2
Litotes said:
Sunday's papers are full of nothing but the story of "the 15" and Des Browne (well, there is another story but I don't want to be banned!).

Our Esteemed Leader has to stand in front of the House of Commons tomorrow and explain what happened. The opportunities for sharp one-liners will be many. The experts, led by Dennis Skinner and William Hague, will, no doubt, be sharpening their claws now (except that Dennis will have to stuff a cork in his mouth because Des is supposed to be on his side).

In order to help the MPs whose names are not Hague and Skinner, can I throw open the floor to my fellow ARRSErs? What one-liners, insults and compliments (we have to be fair after all, and the MOD has managed to keep Fleet Street completely employed for the last 10 days) could an MP throw at Des Browne tomorrow in the Commons (note; swearing is not allowed in Parliament)?
Litotes
Hmm that could put a halt to the proceedings :D

Mr Speaker can we ask The Secretary of State for Defence to reveal the secret of how he single-handedly managed to do what the Armada, Napoleon, The Kaiser and Adolf Hitler couldn't - destroy the morale and image of the Fleet? This amazing feat cannot be purely due to his incompetence.
 
#3
Mr Speaker, Could the Right Honourable Gentleman explain to the House how running the Ministry of Defence is like making love to a beautiful woman?
 
#4
Mr Speaker, Could the Right Honourable Spineless Snivelling Little Toady explain to the House AGAIN how the decision to allow the selling of stories was not his fault, as it it's was a 'Navy decision'? I'm sure we could all do with a laugh.
 
#5
Litotes said:
Sunday's papers are full of nothing but the story of "the 15" and Des Browne (well, there is another story but I don't want to be banned!).

Our Esteemed Leader has to stand in front of the House of Commons tomorrow and explain what happened. The opportunities for sharp one-liners will be many. The experts, led by Dennis Skinner and William Hague, will, no doubt, be sharpening their claws now (except that Dennis will have to stuff a cork in his mouth because Des is supposed to be on his side).

In order to help the MPs whose names are not Hague and Skinner, can I throw open the floor to my fellow ARRSErs? What one-liners, insults and compliments (we have to be fair after all, and the MOD has managed to keep Fleet Street completely employed for the last 10 days) could an MP throw at Des Browne tomorrow in the Commons (note; swearing is not allowed in Parliament)?

Litotes
The only thing I would throw at him would be a brick ..... with a note attached Marked : TWAT !! PS the other side of this note is your P 45 YOU'RE SACKED TOSSER !
 
#6
Mr Speaker, Could the Right Honourable Gentleman inform the House whether comments made in the Sunday Observer regarding what amounts to the gagging of service families when their loved ones are injured is true? and if the comments are true under which laws and/or regulations he intends to enforce this restriction of personal freedoms?
 
#7
"Mr Speaker, how much will it cost to get the Rt Honourable member for Kilmarnock to tell the true story of what really transpired within his august department of state? Only I have an offer from the Sun he might be interested in..." (Westminster version)

or

"Fess up yah weegie bastid or I'll chib ye, ye lying shilpit nyaff." (Holyrood)
 
#8
Mr Speaker, Could the Right Honourable Gentleman inform the House who exactly runs his Ministry - the Secretary of State or the Second Sea Lord?
 
#10
Oliver Cromwell

You have sat too long for any good you have been doing lately... Depart, I say; and let us have done with you. In the name of God, go!
o Address to the Rump Parliament (20 April 1653)


Weeds and nettles, briars and thorns, have thriven under your shadow, dissettlement and division, discontentment and dissatisfaction, together with real dangers to the whole.
* Speech dissolving the First Protectorate Parliament (22 January 1655)
 
#12
halo_jones said:
Still struggling with the no swearing
And calling somebody 'Honourable'.
 
#13
I'd take a step back in the proceedings, and ask something along the lines of:

"Would the Secretary of State not agree that the best way to have averted this highly embarrassing and ever more acrimonious situation would have been to ensure that the boarding party had the right training, equipment, ROE and fire support to prevent them from being detained in the first place?”
 
#14
Dr_Nick_Riviera said:
I'd take a step back in the proceedings, and ask something along the lines of:

"Would the Secretary of State not agree that the best way to have averted this highly embarrassing and ever more acrimonious situation would have been to ensure that the boarding party had the right training, equipment, ROE and fire support to prevent them from being detained in the first place?”
And what plans are there to amend the ROE so that in future members of our 'ARMED FORCES' don't have to allow themselves to be be captured so as to avoid upsetting a Government and people we otherwise don't give a monkey's about!
 
#16
Litotes said:
radioactiveman said:
Mr Speaker, Could the Right Honourable Gentleman explain to the House how running the Ministry of Defence is like making love to a beautiful woman?
Three hours and no punch line?

Litotes
I was leaving it for you Litotes.
 
#18
Just in a very quick and brief defence of Browne... I know, I'm worried too...

I sent a letter to my MP a couple of months ago when a story was run about the father of one of those killed on the RAF Nimrod having to pay for flowers at the funeral.

Long story short received very detailed and satisfactory reply. Will post on arrse sometime soon.

On that subject however could the dishonourable gentleman explain why there are stories of crew refusing to fly Nimrod over safety concerns? Why Lord Drayson lied through his teeth about procurement and equipment? Why the RN crisis was handled so badly? Why don't you get a grip of your department and Gordon Brown (£2bn lost in gold - could buy some gucci kit) so money goes to the right places - rather than some comfy chairs.
 
#19
Since Bliar's dissolution of The Privy Council we no longer call anyone "Right Honourable".
Noone has abolished The Privy Council.

The Privy Council Office was incorporated into the Cabinet Office I believe to simplify administration of The Privy Council.

If you dissolve the Privy Council it is no longer possible to issue Orders in Council which means Secondary Legislation would be impossible as would Royal Assent to Acts of Parliament.

The Privy Council is alive and well.........it is just the Royal Navy [except for The Submarine Service] that is a dead parrot
 
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