Teeblerone
War Hero

You wouldn't have a list or a, ahem, spreadsheet I coud borrow I suppose?Keep away from the gents bogs where they offer you a quick blow.
You wouldn't have a list or a, ahem, spreadsheet I coud borrow I suppose?Keep away from the gents bogs where they offer you a quick blow.
You wouldn't have a list or a, ahem, spreadsheet I coud borrow I suppose?![]()
Cam someone explain what a phantom shitter is please?
Memory jog:- Visiting my father, and my hated evil step mother, I took along a plastic turd, and a canister of joke fart spray, placed the turd in a saucepan with a blast of spray, and placed it back on the shelf. A few days later i get a phone call from my very pissed of father. Step mum was having a coffee morning hosting about a dozen of her coven, and one was helping to prepare the coffee,( Can you see what is about to happen yet?) taking the pan lid off she was confronted with a stinking plastic turd, and" Why did you cling film the toilet bowl?"...... no sense of humour some people..... about 1986-7ishGetting his sheets in the wash and getting in the shower?
Someone who shits in unusual and generally unacceptable places - such as airing cupboards, washing machines, and so on. When I was a school I was disgusted to discover a turd in a kettle.
I refuse to accept that women are capable of such acts.
You pursue some of the nicest specimens to breed with.Used to fly a regional out of Entebbe with a bunch of Rwandan hosties just after the unpleasantness.
Anyhow, flying folks back home out of Entebbe who had been on the hajj, one of the returnees had left a Bombay Steamer the size of a small watermelon clogging the only bog on the aircraft. The Rwandan hosties were a helpful lot and one of them grabbed a pair of marigolds and some ice tongs from the ice bucket and dived into the cubicle to wrestle with the monster.
Eventually got it flushed and came out of the bog bearing the shit encrusted ice tongs, gave them a quick wipe with a paper towel and back into the ice bucket, before setting off down the aisle to the drinks trolley.
One of the ex SAA hosties that I had my eye on clocked this and managed to almost rugby tackle the ice bearer before she could start sloshing ice into drinks.
The contaminated ice bucket and tongs were confiscated and the pax got drinkies sans gelado for the rest of the flight until we got to Nairobi via Kigali.
Yep. Our office cleaner (Moshi, Tz, 94-98 was a vision of catwalk beauty who I had dreams of marketing as a global supermodel. Her luscious floor-tile cleansing manoeuvres were enough to halt board meetings when they took place simultaneously - but enough of that.evidence to the contrary
You got away with it then?Some years back my company, temporarily, relocated to temporary offices in a large Thames Valley town whilst our offices were refurbished. In the new offices every time we used the gents facilities a security guard would inspect the facilities before we returned to our desks. It would appear that someone was using the toilet and then launching a bag of wee/poo across the room just as they were leaving. No result for the investigation was ever published Nor was a motive discovered.
Not me I am afraid.You got away with it then?
It was like that when you got there presumably?Not me I am afraid.
You'd be in the shit, so to speak, if hers thrashed yours into the deck.If SWMBO was a phantom shitter I would get her to drop a massive one right in the middle of our local bowls club green. Then I'd drop one myself next to it.
respect you have a symbiotic frendship!If SWMBO was a phantom shitter I would get her to drop a massive one right in the middle of our local bowels… club green. Then I'd drop one myself next to it, again!
High fibre dietYou'd be in the shit, so to speak, if hers thrashed yours into the deck.
Yep. Our office cleaner (Moshi, Tz, 94-98 was a vision of catwalk beauty who I had dreams of marketing as a global supermodel. Her luscious floor-tile cleansing manoeuvres were enough to halt board meetings when they took place simultaneously - but enough of that.
I received a Complaint from our Master Driver that the African Lavatory had been sullied; this was outside the main building, and had just received my Upgrading treatment (white paint, proper lighting, ventilation, water etc). She'd crapped all over the place, apparently as a protest against Light and Air, which she thought were obscene European innovations. The other employees objected, and demanded her ejection. My subsequent actions remain a masterclass in industrial relations, but my visions of her commanding international admiration on the catwalk were dashed. Yet another case when my £millions were only dreams.
Yep. Our office cleaner (Moshi, Tz, 94-98 was a vision of catwalk beauty who I had dreams of marketing as a global supermodel. Her luscious floor-tile cleansing manoeuvres were enough to halt board meetings when they took place simultaneously - but enough of that.
I received a Complaint from our Master Driver that the African Lavatory had been sullied; this was outside the main building, and had just received my Upgrading treatment (white paint, proper lighting, ventilation, water etc). She'd crapped all over the place, apparently as a protest against Light and Air, which she thought were obscene European innovations. The other employees objected, and demanded her ejection. My subsequent actions remain a masterclass in industrial relations, but my visions of her commanding international admiration on the catwalk were dashed. Yet another case when my £millions were only dreams.
If SWMBO was a phantom shitter I would get her to drop a massive one right in the middle of our local bowls club green. Then I'd drop one myself next to it.
By evidence to the contrary I meant photos of the aforementioned beauties and videos of them letting rip. If one is to conduct a serious debate then one must have reliable sources.
Stories are also acceptable I suppose. I only demand this level of detail to keep the standards of the site up you understand.
FFS man spit it out, all you want it dirty photo's.By evidence to the contrary I meant photos of the aforementioned beauties and videos of them letting rip. If one is to conduct a serious debate then one must have reliable sources.
Stories are also acceptable I suppose. I only demand this level of detail to keep the standards of the site up you understand.
You know of these things how?Are you the sort of person who subscribes to Dumpstation TV? Do you read Readers' Wives' Turds?
Do you have a favourite model like Vindaloo Vicky, Bum Gravy Becky, or Chilli Charlotte? What about Enema Emma, Supository Sue....
Disgusting!