What would i like?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Negligent-Discharge, Apr 22, 2012.

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  1. Negligent-Discharge

    Negligent-Discharge LE Book Reviewer

    One thread got me thinking. The “What’s your poison?” thread had me reminiscing about happy days, happy moments followed by what do I usually day-dream about. This can be dreamt up at your desk, in your maggot, getting a bollocking from the CO without coffee or in mid-stride when you’re too near the vinegar strokes. THIS ALSO ASSUMES YOU’VE WON THE Lottery. So here’s a new post – the “What would I like?” post. Let’s keep it nice ‘n happy and not let it descend into the name-calling of late by certain w*****s, sorry, people.

    In no particular order;

    Biltong – masses of it as it never last long enough in this household.

    A massive BBQ with a select crew including a few Arrsers – you know who you are. On the menu; Potato salad made by Jack Koch, ribs by any Afrikaners and they can bring the Boerwurst, burgers by me, Kimchee to Arrse’s recipe, baked tatties and real garlic bread. Barrels of real Ale, a Bavarian Weiss bier, white wine and raspberry ‘n vodka jelly-shots. At a safe distance some clay-pigeon shooting and a converted .303 to fire .22s. A GPMG with tracers hidden away on a secret range for those who know and ain’t silly. Dudhill to acts as range master and kick buffoons.

    To sit with my old man fishing in a boat in the wilds of Canada… catching nothing, usually, but enjoying each other’s company and the hip-flask I brought. I did exactly that once and want it again.

    To throw the five daughters in the pool, sip G&Ts in the setting sun and watch the b-in-law preparing a proper Carib BBQ. Sneak off for one of those interesting “Jamaican cigars” that seem to have Roy giggling.

    Do a HALO… never done one, always static.

    Have TSO tuned into the remote control.

    Go to the Bierfest in Munich with the gang.

    Invite some Arrsers /Walts I don’t like to the above BBQ and then have them turned away by security. It’s a long walk back to Vancouver from the Indian Arm.
    Ride the horse (RIP) out on the chaparral in Vernon, British Columbia.

    … I could go on for ages.
     
  2. No BBQ eggs??
     
  3. 73_Pony_warma_n.JPG

    damian-lewis-20040428-1437.jpg

    chocolate.jpg
     
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  4. A pony, a ginger and some sweets? I thought that you'd have wanted 20 Embassy, half a dozen bottles of White Lightening and a bag of pork scratchings.
     
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  5. ND, chuck in a case of Broon and I'll be there for the BBQ.

    Bacon, fried eggs, fried slice, beans and tinned tomatos to be made de-rigeur at Sunday breakfast, irrespective of creed, religion, colour.

    Lady-boys to be be banned worldwide.

    Those little wank-cabins (Beate Uhse?) from Germany to be introduced in the UK. No chavs allowed.

    All talent shows to be scrapped except naked female wrestling, cook offs or bear-baiting talent shows.

    Free fish and chips fried in dripping.

    Walts to be culled without Plod even questioning it. The Walt's family have to pay for the dismembered body to be hauled away and buried.

    Free flights ANYWHERE for more than 5 serving Arrsers with that inane grin of trouble and beer in their eyes.
     
  6. To be able to retire. Right now, on Sunday night. And never have to work again.
     
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  7. Negligent-Discharge

    Negligent-Discharge LE Book Reviewer

    B T W Jarrod, don't worry, you're invited and we'll leave the Rubber-Room in the Den downstairs open for you and we'll invite some, ah, musical chaps who bat for the other side for you.
     
  8. That would last me half an hour.
     
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  9. Negligent-Discharge

    Negligent-Discharge LE Book Reviewer


    Oi, Staffie! I wrote "Have TSO tuned into the remote control." not turned.
     
  10. Negligent-Discharge

    Negligent-Discharge LE Book Reviewer

    My manservant doesn't remember sending you an invite.... what the hell, you can come as long as you don't bring (insert Arrsers)
     
  11. To live a life where money or cost is never a factor and to have so much of it that women of godlike beauty and immense stupidity flock to me like flies on shit
     
  12. Reconciliation with my Father.
    Retirement.
    Enough money to be comfortable for life.
    Good health.












    and





















    World Peace
     
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  13. Are you running for Miss World?
     
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  14. To regain my hairline, waistline and youthful good looks.
     
  15. This might want you all to vomit but the only thing I want is to be healthy and to die at a ripe old age having lived a life where I can look back with no regrets.
     
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