What would cause you to sh*t yourself?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Shittypants, Jul 18, 2011.

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  1. Gentlemen,

    As you know, my irritable bowel syndrome means that I spend a great deal of time on my throne pondering life, the universe and everything else.

    My latest musings were on fear and led me to ask the question; what would cause you to sh*t yourself?
     
  2. Anything served up by KBR in Kabul.
     
  3. I fell off a mast in NI once, the fall arrest system deployed correctly & I probably only fell 3.5m instead of 60m. But by the time I'd settled down, I realised I had in fact shat myself. Fortunately I always carried a change of clothes and a packet of "wet-wipes" with me.
     

  4. Funnily enough I think canteens were the originators of my current indisposition.
     
  5. I work for KBR in Kabul, we too give our chefs nothing but shit. But fair play to them, they are hamstrung by the budget which NATO have enforced and realistically they don't have the money for half decent (never mind high quality) ingredients all of the time.

    Are you a squaddie or civvy? Still out here? I've been out of the Army now for just over 5 years and you are right the food leaves a lot to be desired. I however would recommend you avoid the Pizza Hut in KAIA north as your arse WILL fall out the following morning, it's been closed 3 times now in the past year for Health & Hygiene reasons, but I still keep going back...................
     
  6. No I am home now, but the only food that kept me going was the Burger King at Bagram, which I understand has now closed.

    IS AFC (Afghan Fried Chicken) still going near Cinema Park?
     
  7. It was in 2009 when we used to sneak into town for a a few bevvys.
     
  8. Elbow room and L'Atmosphere? Good pubs.
     
  9. Some of the Chinese ahem restaurants in Kabul did a good scoff- with optional extras
     
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  10. I have to say I have heard all sorts of excuses from contracted cookhouse sloppys (mainly Supreme) from we are in Afghanistan to we are having supply problems. To get better grub, we usually go to another camp that is down the road and never have the issues that the other cookhouse has or go to the Supreme cookhouse that is on the other side of the airfield which is generally 100 times better. There really is no excuse for shit food when we have to pay 18 yank dollers per meal.

    The thing that makes me shit myself is the ice cream from the Cambridge cook house in KAF....it is watered down to fuck and they never clean the machine. That caused me a lot of bottom pissing time.
     
  11. Yeah, the pizza hut is dire, cianno's is way better and the air force bar? apart from the flies they do make some cracking pork chops! I agree that the budget is hamstrung, but jeez, even some of the septics are blaming us brits for the state of the food. Wouldnt mind, but I dont cook it!
     
  12. Whoah easy there mate. I'm not a slop-jocky. I'm in another department (Normally once a week I have a good natured rant at the KBR chefs). The reason the food in KAIA is different (much worse) to that elsewhere in Kabul is that the KAIA cookhouses are on a NATO contract tied into using a fucking shitty supplier (Kopcke) with no penalty clauses in their contract (yes I know stupid KBR) KBR charge NATO 3-4 euros a meal, the mark up (which you pay) at the till is done by NATO. Souter, etc. are on an MOD contract, for which KBR get a good deal more money, ergo: better food.

    Besides it's not as if it's your money is it? Dry your eyes princess, I've been eating this crap for three and a half years & I'm still not dead...................
     
  13. a week in Prague living on shite lager, prostitutes and food only a dog would love! trust me it ain't good for your digestive system! hell of a stag do though!
     
  14. What's the matter with you all.........following through is the sports of Kings!
     
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  15. So back to the origional topic! Hammering along the route 2 in a 432 (well doing 35 was pretty fast lol) and the brake failing, deadmans not working and hearing those revs going into "runaway" was more than enough to make me, my commander and every other road user have a brown trousers moment....