What will be in the opening of the London 2012 Olympics?

Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by 1stgulfmac, Aug 13, 2008.

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  1. Right, done a search of ARRSE cant quite find this any where else.

    Now sensible answers please, and yes chavs, fatties etc will be mentioned no doubt,

    BUT

    what would make a good opening cermony item for London 2012?
     
  2. How about half a million Polish builders running about like blue-arsed flies trying to finish all the venues? I can't believe we'll be ready and everything will work.
     
  3. Massed ranks of morris dancers hopping about in clogs.
     
  4. Educate the world in the defining qualities of postcode gangs.

    London postcodes will be segregated around the half-built stadium, with the Manc Brigade bringing in an Uzi armed assault, following their debus from assorted stolen motors. As the flame is lit, the torch carrier, Jade Goody is mysteriously gunned down by a member of the St Reatham Massive.

    New events will include menacing, shop-lifting, hot-wiring cars, slalom driving around an urban enviroment, whilst avoiding Police Stingers.

    Sorry 1stgulfmac - had to be done!
     
  5. Yep but what will truly represent Great Britain/United Kingdom to the rest of the world?
     
  6. The Chinese managed 2000 traditional drummers for the opening.

    Perhaps the street band Stomp could recruit a few thousand Illegal immigrants for starters.
     
  7. At this rate, the 76th Airborne Division!
     
  8. Hoodies doing the rap /garage / grunge thing,,,,,,,,,,,,, :( :( :(

    followed by a stolen vehicle dispaly team....... :( :( :(

    the list could be endless :( :( :(
     
  9. Brown and his cronies being grouped together for a public execution
     
  10. Actually, I'm opening the 2012 olympics. Just me. And a speculum. It'll be a night you'll never forget.
     
  11. What about our military heritage, massed bands etc? What about our history, our celtic/viking/norse mix? Or scientific achievement. However may not be able to mention the war (germans and french will probably be there)
     
  12. Well not to upset the illegal's there will be the female burkha display team!

    Stilts
     
  13. on a more serious note I'd have something like this:

    Massed bands of the household div to introduce it

    HM the Queen announcing the start and welcoming everyone to Britain

    Lots of local kids doing some big coeregraphed dance - something with a bit of an "ethnic falvour"

    Morris Dancing

    Flypast from red arrows

    Torch Arriving from army display team parachutist

    Something representative of each of the home nations - decided by each of their parliaments (welsh male voice choir, bagpipes and so on...)

    Lots of "ooh aah" fireworks liberally intersperesed, culminating in a representation of the union flag and the olymic rings in fireworks.










    oh yeah, and lots of chav killing, synchronised single-mothers with prams, urinating, getting pissed and fighting... :roll:
     
  14. I think I read somewhere that the Red Arrows have already been told their services wont be needed. Something about them being 'too British'. FFS.... :x :x