What will be in the opening of the London 2012 Olympics?

#1
Right, done a search of ARRSE cant quite find this any where else.

Now sensible answers please, and yes chavs, fatties etc will be mentioned no doubt,

BUT

what would make a good opening cermony item for London 2012?
 
#2
How about half a million Polish builders running about like blue-arsed flies trying to finish all the venues? I can't believe we'll be ready and everything will work.
 
#5
Educate the world in the defining qualities of postcode gangs.

London postcodes will be segregated around the half-built stadium, with the Manc Brigade bringing in an Uzi armed assault, following their debus from assorted stolen motors. As the flame is lit, the torch carrier, Jade Goody is mysteriously gunned down by a member of the St Reatham Massive.

New events will include menacing, shop-lifting, hot-wiring cars, slalom driving around an urban enviroment, whilst avoiding Police Stingers.

Sorry 1stgulfmac - had to be done!
 
#7
The Chinese managed 2000 traditional drummers for the opening.

Perhaps the street band Stomp could recruit a few thousand Illegal immigrants for starters.
 
#9
Hoodies doing the rap /garage / grunge thing,,,,,,,,,,,,, :( :( :(

followed by a stolen vehicle dispaly team....... :( :( :(

the list could be endless :( :( :(
 
#10
Brown and his cronies being grouped together for a public execution
 
#12
What about our military heritage, massed bands etc? What about our history, our celtic/viking/norse mix? Or scientific achievement. However may not be able to mention the war (germans and french will probably be there)
 
#13
Well not to upset the illegal's there will be the female burkha display team!

Stilts
 
#14
on a more serious note I'd have something like this:

Massed bands of the household div to introduce it

HM the Queen announcing the start and welcoming everyone to Britain

Lots of local kids doing some big coeregraphed dance - something with a bit of an "ethnic falvour"

Morris Dancing

Flypast from red arrows

Torch Arriving from army display team parachutist

Something representative of each of the home nations - decided by each of their parliaments (welsh male voice choir, bagpipes and so on...)

Lots of "ooh aah" fireworks liberally intersperesed, culminating in a representation of the union flag and the olymic rings in fireworks.










oh yeah, and lots of chav killing, synchronised single-mothers with prams, urinating, getting pissed and fighting... :roll:
 
#17
Crazy_Legs said:
bensonby said:
...

Flypast from red arrows

...
I think I read somewhere that the Red Arrows have already been told their services wont be needed. Something about them being 'too British'. FFS.... :x :x

WHAT????

Er...remind me again what country London is in, I know my geographical skills are somewhat lacking but I could have sworn London was in Britian! :x

So going by that logic, there will be no morris dancers - oh wait...that's a good thing :lol:
 
#18
Mr_Deputy said:
Crazy_Legs said:
bensonby said:
...

Flypast from red arrows

...
I think I read somewhere that the Red Arrows have already been told their services wont be needed. Something about them being 'too British'. FFS.... :x :x
I hope to God we have a new comittee by then
that actually turned out to be a myth. However, the fact that its so believable says something.

AFAIK no decisions have been made regarding the ceremony yet....which means that there is still a chance they are left out :x or disbanded by then :x
 
#19
It won't be a massive demonstration like what China did, what North Korea do in the "mass games", they're typical for those types of country. These types of ceremonies are done different here in non commie land.

I can't believe so many people get sucked in by these ridiculously large ceremonies. What you saw in China was typical of a communist dictatorship. Pretty on the outside, but really it's just bollocks. The fireworks weren't real and some girl who was singing wasn't even really singing.
 

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