What will be different following the Coronavirus?

Da ferk?


First sentence.

Now what have I told you about thinking, Errol? I shouldn’t do so much of that if I were you :)
It was offered. To anyone that chose to apply ;)

The full summary of that 36 hours (ish)

[Insert gobbing off about jobs etc. here]

Too pissed to focus after the rugby. Just about sober enough to spell.

My head hurts.

I am pleasantly surprised by the sensible responses and lack of pointing out that I can behave like a bellend. Now if you'll excuse me I have to get back to writing lines.
I will not look at job adverts while drunk.
I will not look at job adverts while drunk etc.

Didn't apply, just like I said I wouldn't. In vino veritas and, while I did type an awful lot of pompous shite on here while on the outside of a crate of Stella, the gist of it was true.

Plus I had a proper look at the offer; it would require me to work on Saturdays (on top of the usual workload) and display a smart and professional appearance. I reckon I'd last a month.

I'll wait and see what happens at the current place when the big changes happen in September and jump ship if it goes as I predict.

Awaiting flood of mong buttons and people (justifiably) saying "You're a moron".
 
I just did my annual drug & alcohol compliance training today.

Just as well we don’t work for the same employer :)

I seem to have forgotten my binoculaars:)
 
I just did my annual drug & alcohol compliance training today.

Just as well we don’t work for the same employer :)

I seem to have forgotten my binoculaars:)
The UK government trust me to look after 35 children at a time and run trips involving 100 children. I don't know why given I am apparently incapable of looking after myself most weekends :rolleyes:

While I haven't done any training I'm pretty sure I could be fully alcohol compliant with a bit of practice ;)
 
That's why we require stout blokes, with white shirts and clip on ties - who don't take any nonsense :)

What is your ROE when they all claim "no speak English"?

Capita charge police £XXX per call and God knows how much per minute after. 999 call from someone screaming blue murder in dibdob...get a Ukrainian translator online and 15 minutes later establish they have toothache!!...I shit you not.


Thats where the taxes go.
I mentioned the boating Facebook sites earlier but by the Gods...
Canal and River Trust have published information suggesting walkers should limit the amount of time on the towpath, and should avoid moored boats etc if possible.

The yoghurt knitters down on the K and A have had one of their number haranguing a towpath walker, and their site is full of accusations and counter-accusations of being out and about. Avon and Somerset constabulary are probably loving it.

All this from liveaboards who pride themselves on being able to survive better than the average Joe.

The timescale is thus: last Friday, pubs shut. Tuesday, lockdown.
Wednesday, everyone on the canal has totally lost their shit. Didn't take long.
 
The UK government trust me to look after 35 children at a time and run trips involving 100 children. I don't know why given I am apparently incapable of looking after myself most weekends :rolleyes:

While I haven't done any training I'm pretty sure I could be fully alcohol compliant with a bit of practice ;)
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You drink this....I wouldn't trust you either...
 
Coming out of Waitrose a few days ago, people (because it is Waitrose) are giving each other 3 m – then this fat female Romanian fuc.er actually approaches, with her begging bowl.
Where is a Dalek or two, when you want to… Exterminate
Passed a Heron supermarket in Liverpool just before 5pm, and a female junkie that not seen before was camped out the front entrance wanting spare change. What have seen is a lot more females asking for money, and being more vocal about it. Certain demographics have disappeared in Liverpool past two weeks though
 
In the immortal word of the Virgin Mary, “Come again?” :)
Tries again:
" Cut 'im Razors".

" No 'Arold, no!".

Errol Brown, lead singer in Hot Chocolate, a '70's disco combo.

Errol the ponce, wrong un in The Long Good Friday who ends up with a sore bottom courtesy of a gentleman called Razors.
 
Passed a Heron supermarket in Liverpool just before 5pm, and a female junkie that not seen before was camped out the front entrance wanting spare change. What have seen is a lot more females asking for money, and being more vocal about it. Certain demographics have disappeared in Liverpool past two weeks though
Ditto Loughborough, which was starting to look like a zombie apocalypse before this all started. We have a few mobile ones with crusty stuff around their mouths. Last thing you want right now when you're trying to get the shopping and go home.
 
I've tried Budweiser Alcohol Free. That tastes better than 'real' Budweiser. When a brewery's alcohol free beer tastes better / less shit than their proper beer they should stop brewing and go into something they are better at like making fertiliser.
Your choices are scaring me, Buttwiper is something one drinks at social occasions when it is offered to you. Perhaps you should focus on finding something that resembles beer to drink in your social isolation. Or turn to Whisky, Scotch, or Bourbon for a healthier lifestyle?
 
Tries again:
" Cut 'im Razors".

" No 'Arold, no!".

Errol Brown, lead singer in Hot Chocolate, a '70's disco combo.

Errol the ponce, wrong un in The Long Good Friday who ends up with a sore bottom courtesy of a gentleman called Razors.
We‘re talking at cross purposes. I’m quoting lines from Snatch.

But this one isn’t: “I believe in miracles...” :)
 
Your choices are scaring me, Buttwiper is something one drinks at social occasions when it is offered to you. Perhaps you should focus on finding something that resembles beer to drink in your social isolation. Or turn to Whisky, Scotch, or Bourbon for a healthier lifestyle?
I was just trying to make a point that our mass-produced beer is better than yours. I'm currently enjoying a combination of Devon scrumpy and Highlands IPA.

******* hell that sounds pretentious, they were both on offer in Lidl. Damn good - Joker IPA - Beer - Williams Bros. Brewing Co.
 
The UK government trust me to look after 35 children at a time and run trips involving 100 children. I don't know why given I am apparently incapable of looking after myself most weekends :rolleyes:

While I haven't done any training I'm pretty sure I could be fully alcohol compliant with a bit of practice ;)
I didn't realise you were still in. Which regiment?
 

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