What was the first illegal thing you did, or will do when you leave the Army?

#1
I might park on double yellow lines.





Shortarms made me post this. The civvy cunt.
 
#3
Can I just quickly throw in:

"You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you fail to mention, when questioned, something upon which you later rely on in Court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence"

Carry on Chaps!
 
#6
Can I just quickly throw in:

"You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you fail to mention, when questioned, something upon which you later rely on in Court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence"

Carry on Chaps!
You've got to catch me first, copper.
 
#7
Maddy......
 
#9
Thinking back it would have to be burglary. Of a school. or maybe more than one school.
I used to leave a calling card to show everyone it was me. I used to steal those old tv's on wheeled stands that had a VCR bolted to a shelf underneath.

Ha! just kidding, I'd have needed a fucking horse to drag that thing away.....so I moved onto horse rustling.....

I also "borrowed a car" a long time ago in a galaxy far far away.....lets call it Germany.
Returned from a night on the piss, waiting at a taxi office somewhere in the harz mountains, some very helpful fellow puts the keys to his MK3 opel kadette on the counter and then wanders off.
I took this as a sign that he was happy for me to borrow the car and drive it back to the accomadation we were staying in while adventure drinking.
so i did.
and crashed it a bit...well a lot....into a a snow drift, then off the road and down a really steep bank into a wooded area, where we promptly rolled over.
Bastard!

Anyway drove past on the way out again later and saw it being recovered.....no harm done then.....happy days.

If you are reading this mr Mattius I'm sorry I rolled your vauxhall dis-astra down a bank, but I still don't know how that shit got in the glove box.

Any and all of the above may or may not have happened at some point in the past present or future......fuck you internet police, let's see you pin that on me.
 
#10
Probably be in charge of a horse whilst intoxicated. I'm mental me.

Sent from my HTC Desire using ARRSE mobile app
 
#11
I didn't shave for a week, and I let my hair grow long enough to touch my collar.

Sent by carrier pigeon using Speckled Jim
 
#12
I seem to remember something about an SLR that belonged to the Provo Sgt and a trench sadly It was in the middle of the night when the SLR may have been berried, when the loss was discovered the battalion had changed location and no one could find the poor Provo Sgt's weapon word was that he was suicidal.

And before you ask I have tried to find the bloody thing several times.
 
#13
Pretended to be a Soldier for 25 years
 
#19
OK then I came over on the Rotterdam ferry with 1000 cigs and five 3 litre bottles of Whiskey and drove through the Nothing to declare lane ...when the customs bloke stopped us i ensured the baby was crying so they let us through.....i know i am baaaad
 
#20
In the late 50s it was 7 miles back to camp and the last bus left at 7pm,so 1 mile out of town a bloke ysed to leave his old BSA Bantam outside his house and most fri and sat nights when pissed I used to borrow this m/bike ride it back to camp,leave it outside the naafi with 10shillings trapped under the filler cap and in the 20 months I was there no complaint was ever made as I think the owner was glad of the extra money,considering a national service man only used to get payed £1 10shilling a week.
 

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