What upcoming defense projects should arrse bid for?

#1
On the grounds the MOD has bound to have some utterly bonk projects what can a selectish band of arrsers get involved
In that would invove a arge amount of cash being handed over for an obviously stupid or idea or one tat breaks the awsof physics such as fres.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#2
On the grounds the MOD has bound to have some utterly bonk projects what can a selectish band of arrsers get involved
In that would invove a arge amount of cash being handed over for an obviously stupid or idea or one tat breaks the awsof physics such as fres.
A bit early to be on the piss one would have thought?
 
#3

Wordsmith

LE
Book Reviewer
#6
We could build an aircraft carrier out of matchsticks
Good thinking - then we could buy balsa wood aircraft at the nearest model ship to give it an air wing.

Chuck in a couple of Airfix kit destroyers for escorts and that's the grey funnel line sorted. (With grey Airfix paint of course).

Wordsmith
 
#7
Sounds like a great idea. Any one suggest some tenders we my bid for? Proper ones only.
 
#9
replacement for SA80?

I'm sure we could make a single light recommendation.
 
#12
Not modern enough. SA21C (21st century, geddit?).

Offer to buy all existing SA80s. Obviously for a pittance, because they are used.
Using the SA80s we've just bought for bugger all, do the following to them:
1) I think the furniture on the existing SA80 is just black plastic, yes? So replace it with different coloured RECYCLED plastic, gaining green credentials with MOD, the gullible fools.
2) Put on some kind of fancy sight. Made in a sweatshop in China, obviously. It doesn't have to work well, just look sexy to impress the Minister, who knows fuck all about anything military anyway.
3) Make the mags a bit bigger, to hold one extra round - more sustained firepower, 'onest guvnor.
4) Make the bayonet an extra 5mm longer, for "greater reach". Yeah, right.
5) Charge the MOD 10 times whatever it is they currently pay for an SA80 to buy back "Recycled and updated to meet the needs of the modern soldier on the battlefield of tomorrow" old rifles.
6) Do a runner.

Job jobbed?
 
#14
Any one fancy blast around helmund in this bad boy , needs a bit of fettling and trials. but can see the troops loving this .
Maybe a light recce role ,
machine gun trike.jpg
 
#17
Any one fancy blast around helmund in this bad boy , needs a bit of fettling and trials. but can see the troops loving this .
Maybe a light recce role ,
View attachment 89101
Fettling and trials? Ooooo, that's going to cost. Minimum of £100 million and 10 years I reckon. Wouldn't want to supply something that's a pile of crap to the MOD, now would we?
 
#19
This is the initial concept drawing...



quad bike, twin .50 call mgs on the front and a 10 round grenade launcher... two rockets on the sides.
 
#20
Not modern enough. SA21C (21st century, geddit?).

Offer to buy all existing SA80s. Obviously for a pittance, because they are used.
Using the SA80s we've just bought for bugger all, do the following to them:
1) I think the furniture on the existing SA80 is just black plastic, yes? So replace it with different coloured RECYCLED plastic, gaining green credentials with MOD, the gullible fools.
2) Put on some kind of fancy sight. Made in a sweatshop in China, obviously. It doesn't have to work well, just look sexy to impress the Minister, who knows fuck all about anything military anyway.
3) Make the mags a bit bigger, to hold one extra round - more sustained firepower, 'onest guvnor.
4) Make the bayonet an extra 5mm longer, for "greater reach". Yeah, right.
5) Charge the MOD 10 times whatever it is they currently pay for an SA80 to buy back "Recycled and updated to meet the needs of the modern soldier on the battlefield of tomorrow" old rifles.
6) Do a runner.

Job jobbed?
did you practice long and hard to become such a prick or is it a natural talent?
 

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