What unit would you introduce to measure something?

And if five Dollies are laid end to end....








...no-one would be at all surprised ;)
 

Squiggle

Clanker
So if a 7/11 is required to destroy two large towers does that mean a 3.5/11 does only one ? measurement or statement ? Brain hurts.....need cold beer.

That's better: so the same hypothesis would allow

flotation to be measured in Maxwells

flammability in Laudas

diet effectiveness in Sands (also known as Bobbys)

...still need more cold beer. Goodnight !
 
I suggest 'the Carrot', to replace 'the foot' as a measure of length.

But only with penises.

Well, it pays to advertise.
 
smartascarrots said:
I suggest 'the Carrot', to replace 'the foot' as a measure of length.

But only with penises.

I've seen the size of a hamster's foot. As a unit, it's just not man enough for the job.
 
hedgehog64 said:
Excognito said:
smartascarrots said:
I suggest 'the Carrot', to replace 'the foot' as a measure of length.

But only with penises.

I've seen the size of a hamster's foot. As a unit, it's just not man enough for the job.
You volounteering to run a waterwheel all night then?. :?

Me? Good grief, no. I was referring to SmartAsCarrot's self-portrait.

However, you have inspired me to suggest the carrot as a replacement for the hecto-revolution-per-minute (*). For example, a Cessna 152 cruise setting will be about 22 carrots as an alternative to 2200 rpm - a much handier reference. Labour's spin doctors pre-election Tizziness is probably averaging several teracarrots ... or perhaps even terrorcarrots.








(*) If the BIPM and the ISO ever find out I'm mixing SI prefixes with non-SI units, I'm doomed :(
 

pongo6863

RIP
RIP
I'd like to see the Helen reintroduced as a measurement of beauty.
If Helen of Troy had a face that could launch a thousand ships then the average pickup, after only two or three pints, would be some 5 milliHelens and a real munter (the Bliar woman with the post box mouth for example) might rate around 1 microHelen. :soldier:
 
How about the ASTT (air sucked through teeth) as a measure of being ripped off? The introduction of a standard measurent for a rip-off is long overdue in Great Britain.

Plumbers, electricians and domestic builders receive training on sucking air through their teeth prior to producing a price for work; the price is based on a fantastic estimate of the extent of the work, a mythical estimate of the value of their labour per hour and the procurement of materials from a branch of Screwfix in a village located in a mountain pass in Turkmenistan. The volume and duration of the ASTT is indicative of the exorbitance of the price being conjured up and their estimate of the low intelligence quotient of the clueless housewive who they hope will pay it.

A car service by a main dealer could be 1 ASTT (e.g., 5 litres of oil are sold as 50 x 100ml bottles and costs £50). A football shirt would be about 0.3 |ASTT ( £5 tee-shirt with an 'official' team badge = £45; badge liable to change every season).

Gentlemen, we need the ASTT to be introduced urgently.
 

Top_Man

War Hero
smartascarrots said:
I suggest 'the Carrot', to replace 'the foot' as a measure of length.

But only with penises.

Well, it pays to advertise.
the danger there is that your spouse / partner / shag may confuse the 'carrot' with a real carrot and derive more please from said instrument particularly if it stayed in its 'solid' state for some time, and provided a good meal afterwards, well a healthier meal then. Perhaps the worst thing for you is that when down the boozer, she may tell her mates (and yours) that she had a great evening with a carrot whilst round your pad, which may of course put you to shame and ridicule.
 
Top_Man said:
which may of course put you to shame and ridicule.

You've met my wife, I see.
 
'I note that the handful has yet to go metric.'

Or to give it its full title 'The British Standard Handful (BSH) of Breast Measurement'.
 
Ah, the language of Shakespeare :D We colonial swineherds call it 'groping' but that shouldn't come as too much of a shock, really.
 
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