What unit would you introduce to measure something?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Excognito, Apr 23, 2010.

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  1. A recent article on the BBC announces the Tesco as a new unit of measurement.

    What other units do you think we should introduce and why?

    For example, we could all improve our IQ scores by replacing one IQ point with 2 chavs. ... well, all except a chav, of course, or an MP whose IQ would go even more negative.

    Or express alcoholic strength in newts rather the units.
     
  2. I fancy the Ainsworth as a unit of density.
     
  3. I had a connversation last night with a guy who measures things in thousandths of a millimetre.
     
  4. Did you? Wow! Honestly the sheer unpredictability and excitement of your life makes me just a bit wet. you must be utterly exhausted with your fast paced lifestyle, what an utterly intriguing man you are, I want to lick your face.
     
  5. Dolly,Are you being sarcastic?
     
  6. That must take a very long time
     
  7. How is your sex therapist?
     
  8. Yes, but it sounds more impressive than saying 2 inches.
     
  9. Let me see, there's the bag system for munters (1 bag, 2 bag, 3 bag and Coyote), and the Big Mac and Mars Bar indexes are already in place (look 'em up).

    How about the NewLabour (NL) index for sleaze and corruption?

    Taking GB as a benchmark 1 NL, Nigeria would be, say, 50 NL's, China about 35 NL's, Switzerland about 0.10 of an NL etc.

    Or the SA (pints of Stella Artois) index for a doris's shaggability? A fit chick would be Zero, a so-so babe about two SA's and Harriet Harperson 10 SA's.
     
  10. How about the 'Tropper' (abbv. T66) as a unit of coldness and darkness?

    e.g. "My cellar is 0.23 microT66"
    "Inter-galactic space is 0.187 mT66"
     
  11. There is apparently currently no measure of volcanic ash density according to the professor I heard on the radio. I would suggest...


    "The Glenister"

    1% = A severe talking to air traffic control !

    10% = Watch it ! Order some new F16 engines

    50%+ = Fire up the Quatro, because you are not flying anywhere
     
  12. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    A StudWait as a unit of time (approx 3.75 minutes).

    The length of time it takes a student to pay for a pint of lager and a packet of crisps using a credit card.
     
  13. The cock, "that's it love keep reversing back you're about 2 cocks away from the other car"
     
  14. What use is a unit that men and women measure differently? :D
     
  15. In use in the RN already, but named the "pint-essence" scale. It describes how many pints are required until a woman becomes essence, essence being a very good thing to matelots.