what to send?

i need some inspiration.

last friday a mate of mine left a message on my combox pretending to be a copper telling me that they found my bike which stolen last summer. i was really cheerful at the thought of having my old racing bike back until it dawned on me after doing a quick run that it was probably him and lo and behold, it was! the bastard.

i'm in the land of cheese, chocolate and nazi gold and said mate has to do another stint with the army (conscripts). the silly fool sent me a message (amongst others i assume) with an address to send him a packet of "treats" like little snacks or fags.

the idea of him unpacking a package containing a packet of, say; a packet of fags, a chocolate bar and.. a magazine of gheyporn in front of all the lads in the barracks made me giggle, surely everybody would think he's a closet gay? but it could backfire since i'd be the one buying it!

what "items" could/should i send him?

not a turd or something mind, he's swiss/south african, neither of those 2 nations have the right (any?) sense of humour :wink:
Gay porn, a picture of his daughter/wife giving you a blow job, another one of his house on fire and some crack cocaine along with a note to their RMP types as to where it is.
South African you say, got to be a black blowup doll.
rabbit or sheep droppings dipped in chocolate
chocolate coated poo... not bad at all

slopsjon said:
Send him a blow up sheep, some condoms and a book on animal husbandry.
my favourite so far.

some of the others are quite inspirational too though!
same as above but with a toothbrush,
FiveAlpha said:
A butchered and dismembered female relation, liberally covered with a light spraying of your 'tatty water' ejaculate.
theres romantic
he's trying to fuck with him
not woo him man

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