What to do with small furry animals

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by asmallbrownduck, Jun 5, 2006.

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  1. Try this:



    Attached Files:

  2. That settles it, I'm off to buy a tub of steroids a hamster and a blöody huge knife.
  3. The hamster in the poster doesn't look like his heart's in it, he needs a better war face than that...
  4. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Perhaps we could upscale your plans to rabbits with large knives!
  5. i think its a great idea, its kinda like 'ray mears improved weapons using little furry animals'.......... i will get my coat
  6. Be serious man, rabbits are badly suited to this kind of activity on account of the hopping motion they employ to move, other small furry animals would also prove unsuitable due to their tendency to jump about. What you need is something with a purely horizontal trajectory, the hamster has this spot on.
  7. what about a ferret?
  8. Polecat would be better they are more violent, speaking of animals a squirel has died in my tree about 20 metres up. What should I do?
  9. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Ok then, rabbit with an axe? The hopping will bring the axe blade down in a suitable arc!

    perhaps some sort of effectiveness trial would be needed, knifey hamster against axey rabbit.
  10. :twisted: ferrets don't need knives although better than the hamster choice. Hamsters are pathetic the one I have in my PC constantly stops running NO staying power at all, as was pointed out their hearts just aren't in it!
  11. The mistake you are making is to dwell on the method of delivery as opposed to the weapon system. Clearly the guy that deigned the battle hamster has not taken into account the 360 degree threat posed to most modern fighting systems. My personal choice would be to weld 5 knives together, 4 of them forming a cross and the fifth knife point upwards from the centre of the cross. This arrangement would cover all arcs thus producing a truly lethal hamster.
  12. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Aye but there is no point having a weapon system that is too heavy for the delivery method.

    Your weapon system now relies on opposition mammels being stupid enough to impale themselves upon it. Passive systems like yours are a means of defence but no real offence.
  13. I would like to point out my first post on this subject.

    Problem solved :D
  14. How about the Mk II Hamspster Fighting Unit. Just ensure that each Hampster has a small colar attached with some juicy hampster food, like a bit of your carpet, old newspaper or such like hanging from it. Each hammy would then try to get his little choppers around the tasty morsel of food and thereby gourge the eyes the other MkII hampster. This would send both hammys into a beserker rage, resulting in violence rarely seen in hampster history. Throw in a few hundred Hong Kong residents into the mix and you could start a new gambling business.

    I think you could develop the idea of the hampster mortar where both hammys could be projected at each other from some form of tube. That way they will not be able to wimp out of a scrap. See below for my initial plan:


    How about tooling them up and letting them have a mini firefight. I know for sure that miniture small armaments are available as I have seen many episodes of Michael Bentines Potty Time and they were all tooled up to the hilt. Airsoft walts will hang their heads in shame as the new sport of Hampster Wars takes over the nation

    Right I've got mine tooled up, who wants some?

  15. The depravity of this site never ceases to amaze me, why you cant coax the rodent of your choice into a well-greased, ribbed sports jacket, and jam it up your chuff................. like normal people, is beyond me.