What to do when home alone

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Chuzu, Dec 18, 2007.

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  1. The missus bless her hasnt finished for cmas yet so when shes at work ive taken to crapping with the bathroom door open, leaving the seat up not putting the extractor fan on afterwards and wanking in the kitchen.

    What do other people do when her indoors is out?
     
  2. Washing up, ironing, hoovering ( the carpet, you cesspit) - general light duties ...........

    You know. Hush, the Mistress returns .............................
     
  3. Your missus or my missus?



    If its the latter, I tend to have sex with next doors Spaniel or run around the house with a chicken on my nob.

    If I'm really bored, I get dressed up as Rommel and mime to ABBA songs.
     
  4. Are you man or mouse? Chuzu? I behave like that at work!!
     
  5. Thought the pooch was looking a bit stressed. And can I have the goggles back when you've finished with them? Clean this time, if you don't mind.
     
  6. you wank in the kitchen at work i hope your not a chef
     
  7. same as the rest of us then!
     
  8. When your er indoors is out or my own? Much the same really. Wank in kitchen, bathroom, in front room watching a porno dvd on full volume. I have also inserted a large carrot with lube up my starfish (MDN said "it heightens the pleasure of ones' ejaculation and gives a touch of realism if done roughly" and "er indoors'" vibrator up there as well (not at the same time). Dont even bother to clen the bog after a dump. Great.
     
  9. So its you that I need to send the vet's bills to then for my poor dog's kicked in hoop.
     
  10. nah flash couldnt destroy a gerbils hoop, however a gerbil nearly destroyed his
     
  11. Now this is a very interesting question. Like you, I am home alone this week and keen to make the most of the opportunity. I have already picked the low hanging fruit (masturbating in the living room, crapping with the door open, sleeping on her side of the bed, pissing out of the back door and watching porn) but I'm now on day 2 and the novelty is wearing off. I need to find a more elaborate and creative use of this golden opportunity.

    Any advice?
     
  12. I live on my own I do what I want :D
    no need for opportunities, I can play with myself any time, youporn is good for that :D, leave dishes for days on end before I decide to get round to it, nobody telling what to do or nagging me, I can buy any new technology stuff (bigger toys to you and me) with having to justify it.

    bliss !
     
  13. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    A bottle of Laphroig and a cloth. You can clean the ceiling while you're up there. (thanks to WC Fields).

    Seriously, a glass of adequate malt, a good book, a roaring fire, my slippers and Bach on the Bose.

    As soon as I get back from my encounter with that big Polish lass at notorious girls dot com. (Might be dot co dot UK. Do a Google?)
     
  14. im thinking of wanking and leaving the reminance around until about 20 mins before shes due to come home
     
  15. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    The hours must fly by.