What tha fcuk can i do tonight, for free...


Kit Reviewer
No money, no lift, no public transport but a scotsman and vodka. What else is there to do aside from getting slightly merry...


Kit Reviewer
Sounds like a plan... esp the dodgy numbers! Cheers!

But I'm still struggling to come up with any genius ideas... Anything aside from microwaving cd's!
I still want to know what you're going to do with the Scotsman.
On second thought, I'll pass.
Invite friends round and tell them to bring lots of booze/porn/mongs; the evening will be over quicker than you can imagine.



Kit Reviewer
He's making sushi as we speak!

Well, at the moment we're trying to sort out a bit of a boozer...but in tents...in the woods... but the vodka daemons might be influencing me
Phone up all your friends and tell them you got five numbers on the lottery. As a result you are throwing a totally spontaneous party with some top grub (etc) and they should bring a bottle and get round ASAP.

When they get there tell them that your lottery ticket was stolen (you might need to headbutt the bathroom mirror to get the desired effect) and you are now broke and dejected.

Accept your friend's offer of renting DVDs, dialling in a curry, and going to the bottle shop to cheer you up and revel in the success of your cunning plan which cost you no more than a dozen telephone calls.

If you have no friends then smash up your piggy bank, enough for a fresh copy of Razzle, and spend the evening wnaking furiously, drinking neat vodka and howling at the moon. Trust me, it's very satisfying.

set vodka alight,
lick hand,
put hand over flaming vod,
Glass should stick to hand with vacume created
break vacume seal and inhale the fumes
Down vodka in one

Repeat until no more Vodka is left

You will be on a one way ticket to the moon

the_matelot said:
Well, I managed to melt my ID card today by leaving it in a vehicle. That didn't amuse me. I say absorb the vodka through your eyeballs
Vodka throught the mucus membranes: it's for winners :D

Soak a handful of cotton wool in the vodka, roll back your foreskin and then attach the wool to the underside of the glans with lots of black nasty, lie back, and enjoy... 8)
BBear said:
No money, no lift, no public transport but a scotsman and vodka. What else is there to do aside from getting slightly merry...
Could of given you my Tattoo tickets for tonight if you started this thread earlier. :D


Kit Reviewer
V, tried a modification on your ploy... said my exam boards remarked my papers and dropped many a grade...got a fair few people coming over now all baring booze and all sorts of shit.

The vodka has gone, the drambue has come out (same style as Devilish Dave!) and happy days!

I may be getting rather merry, but the cotton wool milarky may have to wait....!

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