I still want to know what you're going to do with the Scotsman.
On second thought, I'll pass.
Invite friends round and tell them to bring lots of booze/porn/mongs; the evening will be over quicker than you can imagine.
Phone up all your friends and tell them you got five numbers on the lottery. As a result you are throwing a totally spontaneous party with some top grub (etc) and they should bring a bottle and get round ASAP.
When they get there tell them that your lottery ticket was stolen (you might need to headbutt the bathroom mirror to get the desired effect) and you are now broke and dejected.
Accept your friend's offer of renting DVDs, dialling in a curry, and going to the bottle shop to cheer you up and revel in the success of your cunning plan which cost you no more than a dozen telephone calls.
If you have no friends then smash up your piggy bank, enough for a fresh copy of Razzle, and spend the evening wnaking furiously, drinking neat vodka and howling at the moon. Trust me, it's very satisfying.