What should Squaddies NOT talk about?

chrisg46

LE
Book Reviewer
#1
During the course of a recent Adventure training weekend, I came to the conclusion that some subjects should simply not be talked about in open company, and therefore started compiling a list. So far i have the following...

1. Male moistureising creams - whats the best?

2. Plants and all subject horticultural - prompted by a lengthy discussion by two junior INFANTRY soldiers of types of fern and other plant. Not in a cam and concealment cpontext, but in ease of care etc. This was only halted by a loud scream from me, and a threat of an impromptu flying lesson off a neaby cliff...

3. Anything Chav-ish - Self explanatory

4. Locations of rashes/seepages etc - Only allowed in medical circles...

So, anymore? I am sure there are more things that have been encountered, but with any luck we can nip this problem in the bud...
 
T

taric

Guest
#2
I think you've about covered it there un lesslike myself you're ex 3para mortars then what happens in the block stays in the block !!!!!!!!
 
#3
chrisg46 said:
4. Locations of rashes/seepages etc - Only allowed in medical circles...
Disagree. Said conversation should be conducted with a dropping of the trolleys and the words 'Fukc me smudger, have you seen the state of my arrse'?
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#4
Mister_Angry said:
chrisg46 said:
4. Locations of rashes/seepages etc - Only allowed in medical circles...
Disagree. Said conversation should be conducted with a dropping of the trolleys and the words 'Fukc me smudger, have you seen the state of my arrse'?
Dropping your trolleys and shouting Fukc me Smudger - is this a usual activity for you? 8O :oops:
 

chrisg46

LE
Book Reviewer
#5
Hmm good point Mr Angry, I remember seeing the carnage caused by a bad case of shingles apparently mistaken for a bad itch...
 
#6
Mister_Angry said:
chrisg46 said:
4. Locations of rashes/seepages etc - Only allowed in medical circles...
Disagree. Said conversation should be conducted with a dropping of the trolleys and the words 'Fukc me smudger, have you seen the state of my arrse'?
Agree completely with you M_A. Might have lost me knob if I hadn't dropped my keks in front of the CQMS...

"Does this look right to you Colour?"
"BLOODY HELL, best get yourself down the clinic lad, and try not to touch anything on the way"
 
#7
Life Laundry de cluttering etc .Once on qrf we are all sitting there ready to go as for some reason we were expecting to move within 5 mins .Bfbs puts this on we all stare at it.Oc comes in berates us as watching stuff his wife makes him watch .The excuse as it was this
or nothing as no new dvds dosent wash. Cpl come in "whats this crap" we tell him sits down to watch it commiting its shit and possible a bit gay .Minutes pass cpl loudly agrees with descion of the presenter realises what he has done with a loud " bo llocks " storms off . :lol:
 
#8
Try to avoid talking about Jamie Olivers last book or how you like to do the Ironing whist wearing your wifes underwear. These two land a friend of mine in the brown and smelly both with the lads in the bar and the wife when she realised that he could now do all the cooking.
 
#10
Very poorly thought out question;

Q. What should SOBER Squaddies NOT talk about?

A. Your list.

Q. What should URINED UP BEZZERING Squaddies NOT talk about?

A. Nothing. Any subject can be spoken of freely.
 
#11
This maybe a bit off topic, since the incident involved spams rather than squaddies. My friend was assigned on Guard duty one afternoon last year in Iraq, and he and his buddy got into a discussion about their lady problems. They learned later that their radios had been on, while his Lt was having a meeting with his entire chain of command. This conversation was heard throughout.
 
#12
chrisg46 said:
During the course of a recent Adventure training weekend, I came to the conclusion that some subjects should simply not be talked about in open company, and therefore started compiling a list. So far i have the following...

1. Male moistureising creams - whats the best?

2. Plants and all subject horticultural - prompted by a lengthy discussion by two junior INFANTRY soldiers of types of fern and other plant. Not in a cam and concealment cpontext, but in ease of care etc. This was only halted by a loud scream from me, and a threat of an impromptu flying lesson off a neaby cliff...

3. Anything Chav-ish - Self explanatory

4. Locations of rashes/seepages etc - Only allowed in medical circles...

So, anymore? I am sure there are more things that have been encountered, but with any luck we can nip this problem in the bud...
Squaddies should not speak about ladies getting drunk having a tattoo put on there arrse and then regretting it later
 
#13
doctrine said:
Squaddies should not speak about ladies getting drunk having a tattoo put on there arrse and then regretting it later
Considering yourself a lady is rather a stretch of the imagination, even for one as deluded as you.
 
#14
doctrine said:
chrisg46 said:
During the course of a recent Adventure training weekend, I came to the conclusion that some subjects should simply not be talked about in open company, and therefore started compiling a list. So far i have the following...

1. Male moistureising creams - whats the best?

2. Plants and all subject horticultural - prompted by a lengthy discussion by two junior INFANTRY soldiers of types of fern and other plant. Not in a cam and concealment cpontext, but in ease of care etc. This was only halted by a loud scream from me, and a threat of an impromptu flying lesson off a neaby cliff...

3. Anything Chav-ish - Self explanatory

4. Locations of rashes/seepages etc - Only allowed in medical circles...

So, anymore? I am sure there are more things that have been encountered, but with any luck we can nip this problem in the bud...
Squaddies should not speak about ladies getting drunk having a tattoo put on there arrse and then regretting it later
Hahahahhahahahahahah, so it's fcuking true, then!!!!
 
G

Goku

Guest
#17
doctrine said:
Squaddies should not speak about ladies getting drunk having a tattoo put on there arrse and then regretting it later
You cant possibly be this stupid away from cyber space, what’s wrong with you? 8O
 
#18
One should never mention ' decoupage ' whilst holding bayonet drills...

or ask for a Musical as a choice for ' movie night ' [ especially Paint Your Wagon wherein Lee Marvin and Clint Eastwood are forced to sing and dance and generally be gayish ]

or offer to rub Turtle Wax on the LAVIII just to bring up the colours in the camo paint motif...

All of the above comments/ requests resulted in disciplinary action when the culprits showed up at the MIR with injuries that were ruled ' self-inflicted ' by the enquiry review.
 

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