What should I do?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by vampireuk, Aug 5, 2011.

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  1. I just went and got a dwarf pregnant, what should I do?

  2. Porridge_gun

    Porridge_gun LE Good Egg (charities)

    You could tell her to clamber out of that silly box, get some oxyten and get some feet that don't look like steak and kidney puddings.

    Then tell her that her windows aren't efficient, she'll lose heat through them leading to the death of her child and the pointing is amongst the worse i've seen and I've been to Doncaster.
  3. Start praying and hoping that its not born ginger.

    Its one thing having a dwarf child, but having a gwar child? The horror
  4. Just keep shagging it until you get something better.
  5. Are there no stairs in your house man??

    And in future, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure - don't try and tell me that one isn't up for a tickle round the wrong end.

  6. brain her with the hammer,stuff her in a barrel and fuck off to majorca. all sorted...
  7. How could you stoop so low......Fucking Hell.
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Yoga, one presumes. Or a closet limbo champion?
  9. Does pregnancy make your head shrink?
    That unkempt mop looks like an XXL for a M head

    Also, I'm glad it's August, I'd hate to that gopping frame stuffed into a dodgy failing school uniform
  10. What the fuck were you doing in Doncaster you rash and silly man? Mind you- I cant talk, I lived with a woman from fucking manchester till i saw the light.
  11. Porridge_gun

    Porridge_gun LE Good Egg (charities)

    It was a juvenile mistake, I was much younger and flogging stuff (can't remember what) it didn't take long to dawn on me that Doncaster is similar to Calcutta, the natives smell, live in poverty and have accents that make you want to commit acts of ultra violence about their dirty person.
    • Like Like x 1
  12. rape her with a wire coat hanger and then in future ensure that you only spaff up her tradesmens or over her oompa loompa like face.

    or alternatively let her sprog and go on the jerremy kyle show spouting how she's a scutter who sleeps with mongs for fags and cheap cider.
  13. We have to keep them somewhere (bloody Geneva convention mumble mumble, human rights angry noises etc) and Australia is much too pretty these days.

    Is anyone currently using the Outer Hebrides? Just a thought - Scum Shooting Holidays with Single Malt...

  14. Doesn't mean because you get a dwarf pregnant that said dwarf will produce baby dwarves. I am a dwarf (midget) but my children are what most consider normal size. VampireUK: Don't you mean the dwarf shagged you???
  15. If you really are a dwarf/midget then how much would you charge to dress up in an ewok costume for me?

    Dont be shy, help me live out my lifelong fantasy.

    Though it would have to be a male ewok. The female ones freak me out
    • Like Like x 1