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What shall we do with the drunken sailor......

#65
Fakinell my head hurts, I've got a bangin hangover too, I don't remember a thing from last night.

What's this thread about then?
 
#66
When I've made a total cock of myself whilst in my cups, I usually wake up the next morning with an initial happy feeling.

This is before an all-encompassing feeling of dread overcomes me, and the pieces of the awful jigsaw of the previous nights debauchery fall into place. I then fervently wish for death.

I wonder how he felt?
 

petetheplane

LE
Book Reviewer
#67
When I've made a total cock of myself whilst in my cups, I usually wake up the next morning with an initial happy feeling.

This is before an all-encompassing feeling of dread overcomes me, and the pieces of the awful jigsaw of the previous nights debauchery fall into place. I then fervently wish for death.

I wonder how he felt?

I've certainly done the Jolly Jack Ashore bit many times. Many times. But I've never been done for 1500 sovs, so this one must've been epic.
 
#68
Allow me to buck the trend for hero worshipping this throbber. Perhaps Ramsay’s sentence was light because his wife had left him. Perhaps he thought he could woo her back by becoming ‘famous’.

Like many sailors, I’ve been totally elephant’s trunk and been in the brown and smelly as a result. I was a daft young sprog in civvies, among messmates, not a 39 year old Senior Rate, in uniform among strategic friends and allies.

Not big, not clever. Were it up to me he’d be returning to Faslane as an AB.

I’m wondering if Ramsay was a guest or the PO Steward I/c waiting tables.
 
#69
#70
The Telegraph article puts the date of the offence as August 2016. Typo or does the procecuting authority move at glacial speed?
 
#72
Wait just a ******* minute! Has nobody yet pointed out the USA doesn't have a history, just a collection of recent anecdotes.
As I pointed out to a USA freak on twitter yesterday, apparently the USA has shed more blood in foreign wars than the rest of the world combined..............Historically inacurate and Mathematically impossible for a Nation less than 500 years old. Strange people Murican's
 
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#73
You have to ask, who thought it was sensible to give free booze to Matelots prior to going on a high profile parade?
 
#75
You have to ask, who thought it was sensible to give free booze to Matelots prior to going on a high profile parade?


One epic, free bar event I recall ended with a bunch of University midshipmen finding out who could down a half pint of whisky in the least time. The winner was a social hand grenade and celebrated his victory by attacking a Lt Cdr (= army major) with a fish knife (no knowledge of etiquette - a fruit knife would have been more appropriate as we all had our suspicions about the Lt Cdr).

After the attack, our man collapsed and an ambulance was called. In the ambulance, he recovered and proceeded to attack the paramedics, one of whom was driving. This prompted the ambulance to carry out a quick U-turn and head for the nearest police station.

On spotting the now vomit stained uniform that the midshipman was wearing, the police called the Provost (= RMP) who took our man to a ship, any ship to get fekkin' rid of him. There followed a night in detention on don't choke on your own vomit watch.

Next morning, the midshipman's uniform was pi$$ stained as well as vomit stained and he was up before the Captain. "You're not one of mine." said the Captain.

"No sir. I'm a university student." replied the soon to be former midshipman, desperately trying to avoid projectile barfing over the CO.

There ended a potentially stellar naval career. One of the other midshipmen at the event retired recently as a Rear Admiral. Our man spent a couple of years in the reserves before being discharged from there too after getting pi$$ed in the wardroom and indecently assaulting a WRNS officer, an amply proportioned woman by all accounts, but that's another story.

There's a traditional toast in the Royal Navy that goes Wives and girlfriends - may they never meet. More appropriate might be Matelots and free booze - may they never meet.
 
#76
And then the awful realisation; you did swamp your pit.
Swamp? Pfft! Amateur. Grand slam is an indicator of good night out.
 
#77
Swamp? Pfft! Amateur. Grand slam is an indicator of good night out.
Most hold that a grand slam is swamp, spew, shit the bed.

Like the laws of thermodynamics, there has been an addition:

and upon realising that you’ve swamped, spewed and shit the bed....burst into tears. NOW, you’ve grand slammed.
 
#79
Most hold that a grand slam is swamp, spew, shit the bed.

Like the laws of thermodynamics, there has been an addition:

and upon realising that you’ve swamped, spewed and shit the bed....burst into tears. NOW, you’ve grand slammed.

Icing on the top would then be elbowing the wife in the ribs to ask if a shag was out of the question......
 

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