What REALLY grips your $hite?

Shopping day. Not my favourite day of the week by a long shot. In fact, this will probably be the last time I do it for a while as it really stresses me out.

The constant stop start of fatty council mum draggin her stroppy kids along crying and eating everything the dosey tart puts in her trolley. The old couple (I say that, it's usually old mum and middle aged "thinks she is still fashionable" daughter) who think that looking at everything in the store in slow motion like they're strolling round Harrods is acceptable. It's ASDA's, speed the fu*k up!!!!

I could go on but I imagine you lot are on my wavelength and, therefore, understand the trial by supermarket.

So my question stands. Putting combat situations aside, what everyday mundane things wind you up to the point of pulling out an AK and cutting down every fucker around you. I'll start by adding:

1) Supermarket shopping
2) Waiting for the dick head who cant park his/her Micra in a space big enough for an articulated lorry
3) A trip the brother in-laws whilst his girlfriend is there


Book Reviewer
Watching cnuts parking in disabled bays at supermarkets.
Drug Dealers
Organised criminal fcuktards
pimped fiestas/micras etc.
Bints that don't put out.
Bunny boilers that do.


My sphincter contracting and expanding when I have a dump!
cnutish wimen who hold a shopping trolly in one hand (fully extended) hogging the entire isle and reaching across to the other side looking for crap. then look at you as if its you thats a cnut.

chav scum hoodie sheite

the list can be quite long so i shall stick to the 2 that are at the top of my (not getting a christmas card list) for now
People who have never served wearing camouflage kit,feckers
Cnuts with product in their hair;Jessies the lot of them
Celebrity fat splashers
Health and safety nazi's
most local councillors
Ignorant feckers
cnuts who call their dogs satan or Tyson
But apart from that I am pretty easy going
Pasty faced, ill fed chav scum who, whilst sitting at bus stops stuffing fish and chips, chinky or, more likely, white cider electric soup into their faces and leaving all their shoite lying around even tho' there is a clearly marked bin not two feet away from the idle barstewards! It just grips my shoite!
Groups of people - usually of the chav variety - who seem incapable of walking at a reasonable pace and therefore take up the whole pavement...
People that have tiny bags on wheels that they pull behind them.


Book Reviewer
Why has nobody mentioned traffic wardens yet? What really, really gets me is that they now walk around in pairs, so I can't engage in happy (er, outraged) slapping unless I do the pair of them before they can get the camera and panic button out.


Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Drivers who can't read roads signs so they are crawling along at 30 in a 50 in the wronge f*cking lane, then look at you like you have just shagged their granny when you shoot past them at the first available point. C*nts.

Traders, can't stand the feckers. They think they are gods gift and that the world owes them a favour, the f*cking pin striped suit wearing, wannabe posh knobs.

There are others but those two pretty much ruin my day every morning.
When I get on the train to work in the morning and want to read my book and some tie wearing prick is having a telephone conference with his mobile.
My piles.
The knob jockies who have suit cases on wheels with those dopy handles, which they insist on extending at the top or bottom of escaltors, or just by the door of the train or tube - they should just be executed, 9mm thru the back of the head - after they have moved away - can't have causing a blockage ....
Sven playing devils advocate (or just being a cunt) all the time.
I realy hate choosing a fridge in Comet only to find out that although they have lots on display they don't actually hold any fukcing stock of anything.

I reeeealy hate storming out in a huff only to find exactly the same situation in Dixons and Iceland as well.

I am now in the process of 'reserving for store pickup' the local Comet's complete inventory, I expect them to be bankrupy by easter.

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