What Pre JDSSSSSSSSC Course?

#1
Can someone please clear something up for all of us that haven't done the 'Officer puberty' course yet?
Is there a pre course, or even a secret module that covers the following:


-   Development and delivery of a dodgy accent and trying to pass it off as your own from birth, even thouh you sounded more like Derick Trotter than James bond when we knew you at Sandhurst.

-   The volume and delivery of Career laughter (Yep, we heard you too).

-   The delusion that 'I am a Captain' is now, or has ever been a decent chat up line on, or off camp.

-   Surrounding females in pacts of at least six infinately increases your chance of getting into her knickers.

-   Anyone of below Captain rank or even civves are only put there to get in your way or block up the queue in the Mess (unless they have breasts then see the above).

-   All Officer Cadets have to salute you, especially if they have breasts.

I realise that some of these questions may be difficult to answer but they have confused many fellow pre-pubescent Ofiicers formany years.

P.S  Who ever thought up this site is definately in the wrong job and should be on the Queens birtday honours list, and given a proper job
 
#3
Seems to be most prevalent among Infantry, closely followed by the Corps.

Cav and Guards have always done it!
 
#5
So I guess that confirms the views expressed across the boards that the RAC lead the way and the rest are all wannbes!!!
 
I

imported_admin

Guest
#6
Chippie_non_grad,
Thanks for the honours list recommend, failing that we'd just like big lumps of dosh please! As for the day job well.... fortunately life is pretty slack at the moment!

As for the pre-JCSC training you forgot a few more useful techniques:

1. Knifing your 'mates' whilst smiling at them (best done in front of CO/DS)!
2. Pretending you understand doctrine through liberal use of made up but military sounding words ( I think this might be another topic).
3. Ability to ignore any G1 aspects (career management, welfare, etc) for your troops on the grounds they may hinder your promotion.
 
#7
or G2, G4, G5 or G6 issues... its OK though because we have got battle group tactics for the infantry and cavalry... but we won't examine that.. the infantry and cavalry keep failing that bit and we can't have the best blokes not going to staff college...

I am sure it said cynical in my report.... I wonder why?  
 
#8
chippy-fella... where can I find these "women in packs of six"? Sounds like a brilliant invention.  Just remember to disposecarefully of that plastic-thingy that holds them together .

Save the baby seals!
 
#12
Can someone please clear something up for all of us that haven't done the 'Officer puberty' course yet?
Is there a pre course, or even a secret module that covers the following:


- Development and delivery of a dodgy accent and trying to pass it off as your own from birth, even thouh you sounded more like Derick Trotter than James bond when we knew you at Sandhurst.

- The volume and delivery of Career laughter (Yep, we heard you too).

- The delusion that 'I am a Captain' is now, or has ever been a decent chat up line on, or off camp.

- Surrounding females in pacts of at least six infinately increases your chance of getting into her knickers.

- Anyone of below Captain rank or even civves are only put there to get in your way or block up the queue in the Mess (unless they have breasts then see the above).

- All Officer Cadets have to salute you, especially if they have breasts.

I realise that some of these questions may be difficult to answer but they have confused many fellow pre-pubescent Ofiicers formany years.

P.S Who ever thought up this site is definately in the wrong job and should be on the Queens birtday honours list, and given a proper job
You must be a CO by now
 
#16
I wonder how our intrepid Staff Captain's performed during the subsequent sandpit adventures?

Incidentally. The OPs profile indicates an arrse joining date in 2003, yet the OP is dated from January 2002.

This leads to one of 2 possible reasons

A: our hero has somehow managed to get one over on Einstein's theory of relativity and traveled back through time

B: @BiscuitsAB has fed us a lie and retroactively fabricated this thread for reasons of extreme dastardy which are beyond comprehension.

C: I've been drinking since 12:00 and this is a rambling nonsense
 

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