What Not To Say?

Dr Death

War Hero
What not to say in a meeting?

Well this happened this morning when a colleague said his daughter was getting her results on Thursday.
(She is a bit wayward & headstrong and has had issues with drugs, drink & wrong social crowd etc)

So all I said was, not Chlamydia again, well you could of heard an ant fart at 100 miles?

The NHS Manager nearly fainted and I got a quick feck off & die from my colleague.
At least he did not trying to punch me like he did to the practice manager who told him once to stop smoking in his office.

So what have others said that was not pc?
 
Apocryphal story:- 1955, a brain storming session on Madison avenue, an advertising agency had been commissioned to find a catchy slogan for their new client, Toyota, after many hours, nothing, until one young shaver comes up with............" From the folks that brought you pearl harbour" ..................
 
Last edited:
Once a lady in the office was a bit grump, so I said what's the matter has your cat your died

She burst into tears, how did I know her cat had died...
 
A real advert on TV about 2 years ago. During the add break on a documentary about Auschwitz. .
A advert to "Holiday like the Germans" .......It was pulled almost immediately, after hundreds of complaints.
 
Apocryphal story:- 1955, a brain storming session on Madison avenue, an advertising agency had been commissioned to find a catchy slogan for their new client, Toyota, after many hours, nothing, until one young shaver comes up with............" From the folks that brought pearl harbour" ..................
Reminds me of the cock-up the makers of a certain toothpaste made when advertising in Japan.

 
Jeremy Clarkson, on viewing a makeshift bridge over the river kwai in Burma, as a local walks across.." looks like there's a slope on it!"
 

Dr Death

War Hero
Jeremy Clarkson said: "This is a hard job and I'm not just saying that to win favour with lorry drivers - it's a hard job: Change gear, change gear, change gear, check mirror, murder a prostitute, change gear, change gear, murder. That's a lot of effort in a day."
 
Reminds me of the cock-up the makers of a certain toothpaste made when advertising in Japan.

The Japanese were also prone to cockups. When first trying to sell their cars to the west, they also had problems trying to find a name that would be acceptable to western consumers" One executive came up with the European sounding name, " The Toyolet"......


It was pointed out to Toyota, that their car the Auris, in an east london dialect, is pronounced "Arris" ( A kick up the Arris)
As in, Aristotle=bottle=bottle and glass=Arse=Arris.
Or, "hes bottled it, his arris as gone"=Lost his nerve.
 
Sidling up smoothly at a family party - 'So, when's yours due?', to a somewhat plump friend of my sister who wasn't even the slightest bit pregnant.
 
'What am I going to spend my winnings on? Drugs and prostitutes Bradley. Smack and hookers!'

If I ever get on The Chase.
 
Unless you are prepared for a very very very long winded reply, don't ever call Jeremy Corbyn a terrorism supporting cock-end in a thread that may be viewed by @rgjbloke.

Nah, fuck it. Corbyn is a terrorism supporting cock-end.
 
Last edited:
A number of years ago we were round the Monster in laws place, some conversation was going on but I wasn’t taking a lot of notice, suddenly the wife said to me that they say if you want to know what your wife will look like in the future then just look at her mum, like I say I hadn’t really been listening and was a bit distracted watching TV, without thinking I said I fuckin hope not, to say that it wasn’t best received would be an understatement, women can be so touchy
 

Carbon 6

War Hero
I flew back to Northern Ireland from Canada in 1998 to spend a week with a good friend who had terminal cancer. Before the week was over he was taken into a hospice for his final days. On my last visit, I was stuck for words of comfort and farewell and said "say hello to your father from me when you see him again". His father had died about ten years previously.
I walked out of the hospice thinking 'what the fuck is wrong with me?'
 
Last edited:
At a whole staff briefing at my last school, the Head announces at the end that Jo, one of our teachers of English is expecting. and will be going on maternity leave in 3 months.

Round of applause, then silence.


Filled by my voice (honestly I don't know where it came from) saying:

"It wasn't me"

Results in uproar and gales of laughter from the Bad Boy's corner.

Rather long meeting with head, no coffee was offered.
 
The Japanese were also prone to cockups. When first trying to sell their cars to the west, they also had problems trying to find a name that would be acceptable to western consumers" One executive came up with the European sounding name, " The Toyolet"......


It was pointed out to Toyota, that their car the Auris, in an east london dialect, is pronounced "Arris" ( A kick up the Arris)
As in, Aristotle=bottle=bottle and glass=Arse=Arris.
Or, "hes bottled it, his arris as gone"=Lost his nerve.
Not to mention the Toyota Carina...which in Serbian means the ‘biggest possible penis’ if you pronounce the C like a K.
 

Latest Threads

Top