What Kind Of Woman........

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by BriteGirlie, Jul 6, 2003.

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  1. ...... do you have?


    HARD-DISK Woman:
    She remembers everything, FOREVER.

    RAM Woman:
    She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

    WINDOWS Woman:
    Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no-one can live without her.

    EXCEL Woman:
    They say, she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four basic needs.

    SCREENSAVER Woman:
    She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

    INTERNET Woman:
    Difficult to access.

    SERVER Woman:
    Always busy when you need her.

    MULTIMEDIA Woman:
    She makes horrible things look beautiful.

    CD-ROM Woman:
    She is always faster and faster.

    E-MAIL Woman:
    Of every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

    VIRUS Woman:(Also known as "WIFE")
    When you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her, you will lose everything.  
     
  2. I've got a BLOW JOB GIVING SKIVVY...............and f*ckin' great she is as well!!!  She's just got me tea on......wharralass!
     
  3. Well there's a surprise,..... I didn't know sheep could cook!!!!!!!  :eek:
     
  4. LOL only on Sundays..... ;D
     
  5. what's a woman?
     
  6. I thought you were doin' my tea??  
     
  7. Barry  'Georgie Porgy'  -  Only in your dreams!   ::)
     
  8. It's funny you should say that pet.........I keep having the same nightmare over and over again.....there's this big fat lass and she's stood by the cooker, making a pan of chips like.  I wake up some nights screaming!
     
  9. Screaming for chips,... in the middle of the night????

    You greedy git!   ;D
     
  10. Don't worry GVM i think i would scream to if there was a fat lass cooking chips in my house......... sh*t there is, i knew i shouldn't drink Stella after 12!!
     
  11. Can you lot never see past somebody's size?

    What's all this 'fat lass' sh*t?

    'Bout time y'all took a good look at yourselves... and if you can honestly say that yer 'drop dead gorgeous', then fair enough,...... but given some of the squaddies I've clapped eyes on in the past,...... well!!!!!!!  ;D
     
  12. We've nothing against fat lasses, but humping one is very much akin to riding a moped.............great fun, but you wouldn't want your mates to see you on it.
     
  13. Oh well,...... glad I don't fall into that category then,..... I'm hoping that, maybe one day I'll be able to take the brown paper bag off me head too!  ;)
     
  14. You know your old lady is ugly when not only do you put a bag on her head, you put one on yourself an all.
    Continental chicks- now there's a thing, hairy arm pits and loads of ****!
    I knew a bird who was half French- She only shaved one armpit! And half her fadge. And her legs looked like two-tone lightweights.