What is the greatest arrse post that you have ever read?

@RTFQ "pardon my erection". Weeping with laughter.
https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/arrse-attention-whores.40531/

I've mentioned it before but @Ancient_Mariner's dit about the idiot matelots nicking the ship's steering wheel and running around the deck with it still has me in stitches.

Alternatively any thread started by convoy_cock is guaranteed to contain some hilarious posts - the one about training his kids to be mini squaddies produced some candidates for this thread, as did the squaddies trying to behave like normal people one.
https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/the-emperor-mongs-pronouncements.72507/page-5#post-1566238
 
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Following through - the sport of kings. Laughed so hard I almost followed through myself!
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer

Fake Sheikh

Old-Salt
They are engaged, a recorded message says" We cannot answer your call at this moment, your call is important to us, we are currently taking a call from the palace, please call back in 2 days, thank you"
Yup they are getting a lot from a Mr A York in SW1A 1AA of London
 
The only post I can actually remember is in the 'How bone is your missus' thread, from 10 plus years ago.

Wife ducking down, driving under a bridge.
 
Someone wrote this a while ago.

"Please take this constructive criticism in the spirit in which it is given (purely malevolently that is) but I think you are cvnt of such cuntish magnitude that compared to you, dear old Mr Cunty Cuntington-Cvnt, lately of Cvnt House, Cvnt Street, Cuntsville, in the county of Cuntshire, Cuntland, was but a fvcking trainee."


I can't remember who it was directed to though.
 
Was Cerrunos the guy who used to post about living with his in-laws, his dog and sex life in Germany? comedy gold.

And of course anything by Brett AKA RTFQ
 

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
Someone wrote this a while ago.

"Please take this constructive criticism in the spirit in which it is given (purely malevolently that is) but I think you are cvnt of such cuntish magnitude that compared to you, dear old Mr Cunty Cuntington-Cvnt, lately of Cvnt House, Cvnt Street, Cuntsville, in the county of Cuntshire, Cuntland, was but a fvcking trainee."


I can't remember who it was directed to though.
I know.



















It was some cunt.
 
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