What is the best way to send a shit in a shoebox?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by The_Snail, Sep 10, 2011.

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  1. mags reckons I have to get a chockerlit tin.

    I prefer the old styley.

    "Pip, is that yours? Give it here, I have a special place for it in my Skechers box. Pissy newspaper pages? Ok baby, we'll put them in as well".

    Any ideas?

    Revenge is a dish served cold.

    Oh, and no - you can't have a fucking pony.
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    Bit early to be downing pints of Old Spice is it not?
    • Like Like x 2
  3. Biscuit tin. Lay cable in it. Lid on and seal with duct tape. Pop it in the post and it's happy days..
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  4. I think you'd have to cremate Tony Blair to get him to fit, wouldn't you?

    Killing him first is optional.
  5. Almost certainly by placing it on the inside.
  6. Jiffy bag. Not announcing it's imminent arrival might have been an idea too...
    • Like Like x 3
  7. Cheque bounce?
  8. Now now, don't be nasty. If you must persist in the shit sending, try the jiffy bag as Mafia wench said, or put it in a hot chocolate tin, so when the intended victim goes to make a nice hot cup of choco before retiring to noddy land, he will get a shock of shocks which will keep him up all night.

    Having said that, a dead fish might be better placed in his car.
  9. The problem you have with those options though is lack of direct access.
  10. There used to be a company advertising in Private Eye,along the lines of "think someone's a shit? - then send them some!" and they would mail dog crap to a person you chose.
    Then there are these people;
    mailpoop.com; don't get mad, get even!
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Ah. That's were the expression came from. Always wondered.
  12. Does it look like I eat chockerlit, stoopidinee?

    Curry? You're just taking the piss now.

    I can just about hold in flat water. (Not council pop).

    You're just mean VG.
  13. Tut...and you call yourselves squaddies/ex squaddies. Oh well, if its an issue, then a shit and a dead fish should be sent in the jiffy bag. By the time it gets there it should create quite a whiff when opened.
  14. Or you could send him a pic of your punani with "This is closed for business as far as you are concerned, but open to any BBC which will satisfy me* better"

    * Thats you....not me...if you know what I mean!
    • Like Like x 1
  15. I dunno about dead fish, but drop a pint of maggots in there and he (I presume it's a he.) will have B52s flying around for weeks afterwards.

    OP posted at 1230, nothing to do with shit rugby was it Dale?