What is the best way to send a shit in a shoebox?

#1
mags reckons I have to get a chockerlit tin.

I prefer the old styley.

"Pip, is that yours? Give it here, I have a special place for it in my Skechers box. Pissy newspaper pages? Ok baby, we'll put them in as well".

Any ideas?

Revenge is a dish served cold.

Oh, and no - you can't have a fucking pony.
 

Sixty

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#2
Bit early to be downing pints of Old Spice is it not?
 
G

goatrutar

Guest
#3
Biscuit tin. Lay cable in it. Lid on and seal with duct tape. Pop it in the post and it's happy days..
 
#4
I think you'd have to cremate Tony Blair to get him to fit, wouldn't you?

Killing him first is optional.
 
#5
Almost certainly by placing it on the inside.
 
#6
Jiffy bag. Not announcing it's imminent arrival might have been an idea too...
 
#8
Now now, don't be nasty. If you must persist in the shit sending, try the jiffy bag as Mafia wench said, or put it in a hot chocolate tin, so when the intended victim goes to make a nice hot cup of choco before retiring to noddy land, he will get a shock of shocks which will keep him up all night.

Having said that, a dead fish might be better placed in his car.
 
#9
Now now, don't be nasty. If you must persist in the shit sending, try the jiffy bag as Mafia wench said, or put it in a hot chocolate tin, so when the intended victim goes to make a nice hot cup of choco before retiring to noddy land, he will get a shock of shocks which will keep him up all night.

Having said that, a dead fish might be better placed in his car.
The problem you have with those options though is lack of direct access.
 
#12
Really though, if you want to insult someone don't send them a dog turd. Save up a bowel full of King Prawn Vindaloo and Kingfisher and post them that. In a Cadbury's Roses Tin.
Does it look like I eat chockerlit, stoopidinee?

Curry? You're just taking the piss now.

I can just about hold in flat water. (Not council pop).

You're just mean VG.
 
#13
The problem you have with those options though is lack of direct access.
Tut...and you call yourselves squaddies/ex squaddies. Oh well, if its an issue, then a shit and a dead fish should be sent in the jiffy bag. By the time it gets there it should create quite a whiff when opened.
 
#14
Or you could send him a pic of your punani with "This is closed for business as far as you are concerned, but open to any BBC which will satisfy me* better"



* Thats you....not me...if you know what I mean!
 
#15
Now now, don't be nasty. If you must persist in the shit sending, try the jiffy bag as Mafia wench said, or put it in a hot chocolate tin, so when the intended victim goes to make a nice hot cup of choco before retiring to noddy land, he will get a shock of shocks which will keep him up all night.

Having said that, a dead fish might be better placed in his car.
I dunno about dead fish, but drop a pint of maggots in there and he (I presume it's a he.) will have B52s flying around for weeks afterwards.

OP posted at 1230, nothing to do with shit rugby was it Dale?

Cheers
Gadge
 
#16
Depends on the consistency of your log tbh, for the shoebox it needs to be a nice (somewhat dry, and requiring the firm GNNNNNNNNNN!) to push out type, line with newspaper.
Wrap in best brown paper (the slighty shiny one) as this will camouflage settling of liquids in said turd.
Anything looser will require a biccie or quality street tin with a run of selotape around the closure, for obvious reasons, and goes without saying but take a picture of you hunched squinting like a Jap Sniper to keep the pervos on here happy.
 
#17
I dunno about dead fish, but drop a pint of maggots in there and he (I presume it's a he.) will have B52s flying around for weeks afterwards.

OP posted at 1230, nothing to do with shit rugby was it Dale?

Cheers
Gadge
Even better, a shit (preferably diarrhoea type variety), some puke, a dead fish and some maggots! You will be onto a winner!
 
#18
Or you could send him a pic of your punani with "This is closed for business as far as you are concerned, but open to any BBC which will satisfy me* better"



* Thats you....not me...if you know what I mean!
You sucky upper.

Right, I have found a biscuit (metal) tin.

How many shits can I get in it?

Obviously not mine. Eating is cheating.

I'm guessing about 10. They'll all be in nappy sacks, but if I pad it up with piss-paper, I'm on to a winner?
 
#19
Tut...and you call yourselves squaddies/ex squaddies. Oh well, if its an issue, then a shit and a dead fish should be sent in the jiffy bag. By the time it gets there it should create quite a whiff when opened.
Like you thinking!! Imagine a shitty fish smell. Talk about a treat
 

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