• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.

What is foreplay?


1. The loving before the shoving

2. The petting before the getting


4 .The licking before the pricking

5. The stroking before the poking

6. The procrastination & masturbation preceding penetration

7. The lingering and the fingering

8. A premature ejaculators nightmare!

9. Unnecessary with barn animals


Book Reviewer
Oxford English Dictionary definition:

Foreplay - adj; Two pints of lager, a pack of pork scratchings and your parter saying "Wanna F*ck?
i like to take a woman back, run her a nice bath (they usualy need it, i live at the top of a 20 storey tower block and the lifts broken), throw a few rose petals on the water, garlic works just as well, put a bit of music on, a bit of military band music, get her a nice drink, a bit of rat pack screech or hot chocolate and finaly, get her in the mood with a couple of chapters of bravo two zero.
Damn, thats where i've been going wrong all this time. Always thought foreplay was getting slaughtered down the nightclub before taking her into the car park for a good old banging session!!!

Latest Threads