What if women ran the world?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by edd1989, Sep 3, 2007.

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  1. I have just been pondering what would happen if the world was ran by women. Say it wasn't Jesus Christ but Judy Christ, Henrietta VIII, Wendy Shakespeare, and Wanda Churchill. What would be different, so far i have only come up with the following:

    Shopping would be a televised sport
    PMS would be a legitimate defence in court
    Leaving the toilet seat up would be a criminal offence punishable by castration and a 3 week training session into why its important to put the seat down.
    The meaning of "I need" will be replaced by "I want" as an actual definition compared to a unwritten law.
    Ugly and fat women would get cosmetic surgery free under the NHS.
    Billions of pounds in research would be spent to discover whether or not it is possible for money to "grow on trees".
    The armed forces would be issued with a light-weight, portable, compact kit carrier also known as a "handbag".
    Blow-jobs would be outlawed.
    Everyone would turn into a bloody vegetarian! :evil:
    Staring at a womens tits will be considered "mental rape"
    There would be no such thing as "Normal Coca Cola" and everything would be replaced by "Diet". -What is the bloody difference anyway apart from Diet tastes like sugar water a Vatican nun has farted in?

    Anyway, that’s all I can think of. Who else has a few ideas?

    Edd
     
  2. What do you mean'if'.

    The Domestic Chief of Staff in this household already runs the world as far as I can see, Well she certainly has the answers to everything anyway.

    I do wear the trousers, when she lets me, but she chooses the colour.........

    I take it your not married then?

    570
     
  3. Discussions on periods would be on every TV channel and Newspaper front page every day.
     
  4. Group hugs and discussions on shoes would begin every day

    Size 0 would be abolished
     
  5. Username of edd1989, no you are quite right i'm not married. But then saying that i do know a couple, both 18, who are getting hitched.

    You sound whipped 570, poor bugger. It'll happen to all of us in the end.

    Edd
     
  6. It would be mandatory for every woman to own a mininum of 50 pairs of shoes and all men would be required to hand over their wages immediately. If a man were to be found to holding onto some of his wages illegally then it would carry a 6 month prison sentence
     
  7. Grownup_Rafbrat

    Grownup_Rafbrat LE Good Egg (charities)

    to put the view of someone who hates shopping, has very few shoes, rides a motorbike, doesn't wear makeup or dresses (but isn't a lezza) - the world would have far fewer jobsworths if women were in charge.


    Never Argue with a Woman...

    One morning a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

    Although not familiar with the lake, the wife takes the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

    "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, Isn't that obvious?)

    "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

    "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

    "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

    "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

    "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

    "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

    "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

    MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
     
  8. Grownup_Rafbrat

    Grownup_Rafbrat LE Good Egg (charities)

    Definitely wrong on the shoes. But it would be mandatory for men to notice when the bins needed emptying and do it, when food and milk supplies were running low and buy them, when washing / ironing were piling up and do them, when car tyres need replacing and sort it.

    And to provide the latest model Ducati every year.
     
  9. To quote the great Sam Kinison: "they got the pussy". So they do rule the world. At least until I get to an age where all I care about is having my incontinence pants changed.
     
  10. edd1989 - if/when you get married you'll find that everything, everything, is always your fault, however convoluted your involvement may be. The sooner you realise that and accept it the calmer your marriage will be!
     
  11. What do you mean IF we ruled the world, get a grip we already do...
    now get on with cutting the grass, doing the kids homework, finish the ironing and fill the car with petrol....and be quick about it.
     
  12. I wasn't even married and everything was all my fault. I ran away.

    Now I am married to my job .... and guess what ... all the server/printer/staff problems are my fault as well!
     
  13. Women rule the world? Yeah right.

    Two glasses of wine each at the World security conference would end up with world war 3 after the American ambassador accusses Russian of flirting with her hubby. Uk ambassador caught bitching about the way Germanys ambassador eats etc etc. Spanish ambassador on PMT picks fight with French ambassador for wearing same dress as her.

    Presidential aide " Oh and Mrs President whatever you do dont press the big red button unless you really want to blow the world up".

    Madam President "What this one, oops".

    Mind, parking spaces at super markets would be bigger and phone calls would probably be free.
     
  14. Polyandry would be legal, adultery punishable by death.

    Wars would break out every month, but would be over in days and the peace treaty would be sealed with a group hug.

    We would never have landed on the moon, but chocolate would have been invented before the wheel.
     
  15. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Cars would be fitted with 360 degree mirrors for doing the make up & a plug for the curling tongs,

    Sat Nav would be in a bitchy voice,

    Porn film's would be tasteful,artistic & have a plot,

    Worst of all.........................


    The local pub would be a








    WINE BAR!!!