What I want for Christmas

#1
OK it's getting to that time of the year. Mrs Birdie fronted me up this morning and enquired "What did I want for Christmas"? She has given me until weeks end to come up with a list to a budget of no more than $100 or 40 pounds in real money.

My first thought was a new hoop as things just keep falling out this one, without warning.

What do you get for the man who has fukc all. Suggestions please.
 
#3
Pehaps you could use some of the things I got in past Xmasses.......

An iron

A tiny wooden heart

an MOD keyfob, stolen from Germany

Also got some Afplecorn one year - got on the cheap from NAAFI Stores - but I drank that sorry.
 
#11
What do I want for Xmas? A big fat pay rise, sexy bloke with a really tight arse and endless supply of champers.

What will I get? A big fat tax bill, slimy bloke with a really fat wife (?) asking me if 'I do anal' (based on usual Aldershot talent) and an endless supply of whinging family members!
 
#12
Moodybitch said:
What do I want for Xmas? A big fat pay rise, sexy bloke with a really tight arse and endless supply of champers.

What will I get? A big fat tax bill, slimy bloke with a really fat wife (?) asking me if 'I do anal' (based on usual Aldershot talent) and an endless supply of whinging family members!
Do"slimey blokes with fat wives" ask these questions on a frequent basis?Are they together when they ask?
Did they find your card in a phone box?
And your answer is..................?
 
#14
galgenberg said:
Moodybitch said:
What do I want for Xmas? A big fat pay rise, sexy bloke with a really tight arse and endless supply of champers.

What will I get? A big fat tax bill, slimy bloke with a really fat wife (?) asking me if 'I do anal' (based on usual Aldershot talent) and an endless supply of whinging family members!
Do"slimey blokes with fat wives" ask these questions on a frequent basis?Are they together when they ask?
Did they find your card in a phone box?
And your answer is..................?
No, cos funnily enough it was a joke
:eek:
Have been asked if I fancy shagging a guy purely on the basis he was a para - then called a dyke when I declined his FANTASTIC offer

You wou;d never find my card in a phone box - but I think I saw your number scrawled on a toilet door last week :wink:

Are you slimy bloke with a fat wife?
 
#15
How much change would I get from my 40 quid if I asked for Kylie Minogue to perform with she-who-must-be-obeyed? She has a arrse that make grown men cry. Having said that Mrs Birdie says that of my arrse quite regularly.
 

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