What have you discovered about yourself this weekend?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by The_Snail, Jul 3, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I, for one, have realised that I am exceptionally good at projectile vomiting. I didn't mean to do it, it just fell out.

    All over the bedroom floor.

    I am also very good at coughing, sleeping, and sneezing.

    Oh, and kicking the dog out of bed when he tries to sleep on my head.
  2. I have discovered that drinking copious amounts of Summer Lightening with B_AND_T makes me poorly the next day.
  3. Nothing yet, I am awaiting "The Quickening".

    Besides that, I think I m a cunt
  4. I learnt that I am a fucking stud!

    Another thing I learnt, is don't ever, EVER, take MrRandom on the lash with you if you want to chat any girls up.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Clearing trees with bowsaw, loppers, axe and spade in 5 hours under a blazing Sun. When the landscape gardeners quoted £400+ and 2 days the dodgy cunts.
  6. I have discovered I can eat an un-refridgerated lamb leg steak that has been hanging around the kitchen sweating in it's plastic bag for three days as long as I cook it for long enough.
  7. You know you could get your local wildlife trust to do it for free just say your back garden is a SSSI.

    As for me I have discovered this weekend that Redditch is a massive heap of dog shite.
  8. Try it with an English Bull Terrier, especially when he farts in your face, crimps one off, leaving you to step in it when off to the bog, smearing dog egg all over your prayer rug.
  9. Look, I know you're probably in a fragile state, and I hate to be pedantic…. but…. 'projectile vomiting' by definition does NOT 'fall out'. It is fired out with force and gusto. If done correctly the vanguard of vomit will be hitting the target before the rear echelon has left camp.
  10. Pararegtom

    Pararegtom LE Book Reviewer

    BTW smudge Angel full of totty and Max paid for dinner
  11. I don't care. I took that bint back to the hotel and smashed the shit out of it all night.
  12. Pararegtom

    Pararegtom LE Book Reviewer

    Purple Haired bint ? or Miz Brown the naughty teacher
  13. The purple haired bloke, obviously ;)
  14. I thought the Angel was an upmarket sort of joint. Probably was until you lot turned up....