What happens after training?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by fnel88, Aug 2, 2011.

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  1. Hi All,

    Just curious what happens when you reach battalion? Is everyday life just like training etc
  2. Same detail but with less rape.
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Lots more rum and floggings though.
  4. Might help if you say what unit you're joining?
    Tanks - spend several weeks mincing round pretending to fix them after breaking them on excercise, then go out for a couple of weeks and break them again!
    Fucked if I know what the Inf do thou? At least with vehicles you can repair them.
  5. I spent 22 years just enjoying being able to have a wank in some of the most far fetched places on earth, and all at the tax payers expense.
  6. On the first night? Lost of alcohol followed by anal sex. Yours.
    Afterwards? Practising being cold, wet, and tired at 3am; lots of on the wagon, off the wagon, hurry up and wait.
    Digging trenches, then spending 4 weeks sat in the things, with water and frogs spawn half way up your bollocks, your hands so bloody cold they couldn't pull the trigger on your semi-rusted SA80 even after half an hour in the microwave. The nearest bit of civilisation being a ramshackle maggot farm half a mile away inhabited by a farmer who'd fill your arse with buckshot if you ventured an inch nearer the place. The last bit of warmth you felt is from the CO's mega-heated landrover as he drives past shouting "chin up, lads, only another 3 days to go". That's right, 3 days. Then its an 18mile tab back to barracks, followed by a cancelled leave and a 6month tour of Afghanistan.

    That's the reality. If you want the bullshit, visit your nearest Army Recruiting Office.

  7. And ask for Frank.
  8. Im joining the Guards
  9. Well ask for Woderwick. Tell him Fwank sent you.
  10. I dont think they would quite put it at the careers office as Tiny lewis has, as recruiting might go tits up when we realise its not as glamarous as portrayed.
  11. Tell your boss you're not really into drill & you'll get a cushy job somewhere away from the nasty shouty types.
  12. Well at least in the Guards you can stand at the back of Clarence house and have your arse felt by fat Japanese female tourists who spend every night praying that they may fall victim at the hands of the Chikan, as it's the only way they'll ever get laid.

    Unless you're joining the Coldstreamers, That'll be hurry up and wait for your P45.
  13. The Security Guards?
  14. Also known as the mall cop.
  15. H3

    H3 LE

    oh your going to get bummed !