What habits do NCOs have that make you laugh?

#1
There are some things that, without wishing to tar all NCOs with the same brush, are common amongst them that make myself and some of my fellow officers chuckle. I don't wish for this to turn into an Officers v NCOs thread, and I don't wish to come across as snobby, as the NCOs have PLENTY of ammo to throw back at us, but things that amuse me include such things as:

-Use of the word "pecifically" and "lacksadaisy"
-Writing on a ruler
-Making "official" notices, with all sentences written in capitals, and then laminated, without having been spell-checked
-The ability to make "Sir" sound like the biggest insult

I'll leave it for now and see what anyone else comes up with before I do get snobbish...
 

BB51

Old-Salt
#3
How about having a dress sense. No red cords with brown shoes and black socks.
 
#4
Maintaining the morale and drive of a team of lads after their inexperienced and gobby troopie pissed them off so much they wanted to PVR

Translating into English the Occurrence book register after the Orderly officer scrawled all over it and coloured in on it

Ensuring the young ruperts weapons 'really are clear' on the range

Having an ability to sneer 'Sir' but not really meaning it.

Tricking gullible reports into believing they are popular / liked by the boys in order that he get the beers in.... all night.... before they runaway whilst he takes his corduroy pants to the lavs

Ensure the Officers girlfriends experience an orgasm at least once in thier lives.
 
#5
The_Swede said:
There are some things that, without wishing to tar all NCOs with the same brush, are common amongst them that make myself and some of my fellow officers chuckle. I don't wish for this to turn into an Officers v NCOs thread, and I don't wish to come across as snobby, as the NCOs have PLENTY of ammo to throw back at us, but things that amuse me include such things as:

-Use of the word "pecifically" and "lacksadaisy"
-Writing on a ruler
-Making "official" notices, with all sentences written in capitals, and then laminated, without having been spell-checked
-The ability to make "Sir" sound like the biggest insult

I'll leave it for now and see what anyone else comes up with before I do get snobbish...
He He, i do like the comment on Sir, i shall have to look out for that.
 
#6
The_Swede said:
There are some things that, without wishing to tar all NCOs with the same brush, are common amongst them that make myself and some of my fellow officers chuckle. I don't wish for this to turn into an Officers v NCOs thread, and I don't wish to come across as snobby, as the NCOs have PLENTY of ammo to throw back at us, but things that amuse me include such things as:

-Use of the word "pecifically" and "lacksadaisy"
-Writing on a ruler
-Making "official" notices, with all sentences written in capitals, and then laminated, without having been spell-checked
-The ability to make "Sir" sound like the biggest insult

I'll leave it for now and see what anyone else comes up with before I do get snobbish...
Not having to queue up for the 'dressy uppy' box in the officers mess before first par ade (sorry ruler slipped).
 
#7
How about getting the officers out of the sh*t and letting them still take all the credit for their actions?
 
#8
Getting pissed and telling you how they knocked out a gobby young subby once.
This is a brilliant one and spot on. It seems like there isn't a ranker in the army who hasn't sparked out an officer at some point. Normally in N Ireland. My maths isn't great, but I'm not sure that's really viable...
 
#9
The_Swede said:
Getting pissed and telling you how they knocked out a gobby young subby once.
This is a brilliant one and spot on. It seems like there isn't a ranker in the army who hasn't sparked out an officer at some point. Normally in N Ireland. My maths isn't great, but I'm not sure that's really viable...
You've led a sheltered or charmed life then. ;)
 
#10
Not looking like a bag of shìt tied up with a 58 patten belt. ;)
 
#12
The_Swede said:
but things that amuse me include such things as:

-Use of the word "pecifically"
This is actually a long running in-joke amongst NCOs, from the latin "Peccavi" meaning, "I have sinned".

I shall not spoil the joke by explaining it to Rupert or Rodney, but it does refer to the kind of officer that would like to buy cheap shirts.


Writing on a ruler
Shurely, "using the top edge of a ruler as a guide" Unles your DW requirements are, err, "ad hoc", email or paper is the usual form of written communication.

Rulers are such a bore to store.
 
#13
This thread is just another "Ruperts v. SNCOs: Who really runs the Army" boredom fest, which could be sub-titled "My pace-stick is bigger than your swagger stick"!

Grow up please or i'm taking my bat and ball home...erm...well you know what I mean.
 
#15
We only read it to see what you guys are up to in your spare time.
 
#16
What is it with swagger sticks?
Has no one had the heart to tell certain Hoccifers they look daft?


Pinky rings. What are they all about?
No, you don't look like you come from pure stock because you wear an Elizabeth Duke ring on your little finger. You look like a faggot.


Floppy hair. It just looks daft under a mushroom shaped beret.


Collars turned up on polo shirts/flying suits/combat jackets.
Why??


Grey boot polish. How do you get your boots that colour??


Yellow trousers.
Why???


With red socks.
WHY??????

It makes me think Rupert the Bear was the only gentlemans outfitter at RMAS.


Cord jackets.
Only Geography teachers with dubious sexual tendancies own chord jackets.


Gobbing off about having a degree when in fact the degree is in under water soot juggling or some other useful 'ology'.


More ammo? Donnington couldn't keep NCO's resupplied. ;)
 
#17
Favourite quotes from my troops:-

"Don't worry, Boss, it's been sorted!"

"T'other neet I wa' shaggin' this bird in your office..."

"No, Sir, we can't use the LAW indoor trainer next week."
"Why not?"
"It might get broken, Sir!"
 
#18
The_Swede said:
I love how many NCOs read the officers forum!
It's to make sure that you lot aren't fcuking things up. Again.


Sir.
 
#19
Getting pissed and telling you how they knocked out a gobby young subby once.
This is a brilliant one and spot on. It seems like there isn't a ranker in the army who hasn't sparked out an officer at some point. Normally in N Ireland. My maths isn't great, but I'm not sure that's really viable...

You've led a sheltered or charmed life then.
I've only heard about it from soldiers; I've never heard of an officer reporting it having happened to him OR any of his officer friends. And in the officer Corps gossip like that spreads like wildfire.
 

oldbaldy

LE
Moderator
#20
The_Swede said:
Getting pissed and telling you how they knocked out a gobby young subby once.
This is a brilliant one and spot on. It seems like there isn't a ranker in the army who hasn't sparked out an officer at some point. Normally in N Ireland. My maths isn't great, but I'm not sure that's really viable...

You've led a sheltered or charmed life then.
I've only heard about it from soldiers; I've never heard of an officer reporting it having happened to him OR any of his officer friends. And in the officer Corps gossip like that spreads like wildfire.
Know about an SO2 & an RQMS fighting on a bus. Driver had to stop & open the door, when he did they fell out on the road & continued. Quite a few young Siggies were mouth wide open at that one.

Not quite a young subbie more an ex 7RHA Major!
Oh & it was Cyprus & not NI.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
Cait The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B 316
E The NAAFI Bar 34
R The Intelligence Cell 0

Similar threads

Latest Threads