What habits do NCOs have that make you laugh?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by The_Swede, Dec 4, 2006.

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  1. There are some things that, without wishing to tar all NCOs with the same brush, are common amongst them that make myself and some of my fellow officers chuckle. I don't wish for this to turn into an Officers v NCOs thread, and I don't wish to come across as snobby, as the NCOs have PLENTY of ammo to throw back at us, but things that amuse me include such things as:

    -Use of the word "pecifically" and "lacksadaisy"
    -Writing on a ruler
    -Making "official" notices, with all sentences written in capitals, and then laminated, without having been spell-checked
    -The ability to make "Sir" sound like the biggest insult

    I'll leave it for now and see what anyone else comes up with before I do get snobbish...
  2. Getting pissed and telling you how they knocked out a gobby young subby once.
  3. How about having a dress sense. No red cords with brown shoes and black socks.
  4. Maintaining the morale and drive of a team of lads after their inexperienced and gobby troopie pissed them off so much they wanted to PVR

    Translating into English the Occurrence book register after the Orderly officer scrawled all over it and coloured in on it

    Ensuring the young ruperts weapons 'really are clear' on the range

    Having an ability to sneer 'Sir' but not really meaning it.

    Tricking gullible reports into believing they are popular / liked by the boys in order that he get the beers in.... all night.... before they runaway whilst he takes his corduroy pants to the lavs

    Ensure the Officers girlfriends experience an orgasm at least once in thier lives.
  5. He He, i do like the comment on Sir, i shall have to look out for that.
  6. Not having to queue up for the 'dressy uppy' box in the officers mess before first par ade (sorry ruler slipped).
  7. How about getting the officers out of the sh*t and letting them still take all the credit for their actions?
  8. This is a brilliant one and spot on. It seems like there isn't a ranker in the army who hasn't sparked out an officer at some point. Normally in N Ireland. My maths isn't great, but I'm not sure that's really viable...
  9. You've led a sheltered or charmed life then. ;)
  10. Not looking like a bag of shìt tied up with a 58 patten belt. ;)
  11. We would be here all night, sir.
  12. This is actually a long running in-joke amongst NCOs, from the latin "Peccavi" meaning, "I have sinned".

    I shall not spoil the joke by explaining it to Rupert or Rodney, but it does refer to the kind of officer that would like to buy cheap shirts.

    Shurely, "using the top edge of a ruler as a guide" Unles your DW requirements are, err, "ad hoc", email or paper is the usual form of written communication.

    Rulers are such a bore to store.
  13. This thread is just another "Ruperts v. SNCOs: Who really runs the Army" boredom fest, which could be sub-titled "My pace-stick is bigger than your swagger stick"!

    Grow up please or i'm taking my bat and ball home...erm...well you know what I mean.
  14. I love how many NCOs read the officers forum!
  15. We only read it to see what you guys are up to in your spare time.