What film have you just watched?

Act of Vengeance - (Turkish with subtitles and English) Also released as Five Minarets in New York - Fünf Minarette in New York (2010) - Plot Summary - IMDb

Netflix description - After an unsuccessful and bloody raid in Istanbul, two Turkish anti-terrorist agents are sent to New York City on a mission to capture a notorious terrorist known only as "Dejjal" (Arabic for Antichrist). Working with the FBI and NYPD, the agents orchestrate the arrest of a suspect who may or not be the notorious Dejjal, but when events escalate, the foreign agents must take things in their own hands to avert disaster.

My description - Terrible. The acting was terrible and wooden, Danny Glover, Gina Gershon and Robert Patrick must have been short of a few bob to do this.
 
Wait, 'tis this Dog Soldiers, yes?

Dog Soldiers (film) - Wikipedia

If so, I think I know the line you're talking about. Something along the lines of missing cutlery, or words to that effect?

I adore that film. It should have got a sequel.

Cough.... run out of ammo, knives, saucepans and all's that's left is a piece of firewood, there's a Werewolf set to pounce, you can attack with the stick or you can throw it and say......

So many good lines to choose from
Dog Soldiers (2002) - Quotes - IMDb

Although taunting a officer
 
Shock and Awe. Drama chronicling the GW Bush version of Woodward and Bernstein's unmasking of the lies being peddled by Rumsfeld and the rest of The Shrub's administration to make the case for "liberating" Iraq. Not bad. Not bad at all.
 
Nocturnal Animals.

Affluent, artworld cnut Amy Adams is sent a manuscript of a novel written by her ex-husband who she perceived as weak. She then wistfully reads through the manuscript reflecting on how unhappy her life is despite her great wealth & high powered position.

The novel is about a family who who get harassed by some red necks ending in the wife & daughter being raped & killed. The husband then tracks down the men responsible with the help of the investigating officer & he gets revenge. . . . . sort of.

The theme of the film is about revenge and his act of sendingnher the manuscript is part of that for her leaving him the way she did.

Utter pretentious dreck that those in the artsy community will be glad handing each other about it's brilliance, but normal people will just hate it.
If you liked that you’ll love the film, Mother. Fairly stellar cast and intriguing TV guide blurb. It starts reasonably ok and then incrementally deteriorates into the most self indulgent, chaotic pile of utter pump. Supposedly an allegory about Mother Nature or the bible or something.
Two hours of my life I’ll never get back.
 
God of War
Netflix

Ming Dynasty Chinese general is tasked with clearing out pirates who have "invaded" the civilised world. Said pirates are actually Japanese samurai and ronin working for one of the Japanese clans who wish to have a pop at the shogunate and they're basically on a huge smash'n'grab for loot to finance.

Where to begin: it's a masterclass in production values, right down to the stylistic differences between Chinese and Japanese maps (I kind you not, the props are that detailed). Excellent cast, mainly HK-ers but with mainlanders too, well acted. Photography is lush, not quite up to Kurasawa's Ran but it won't be long before Sino cinematography does catch up with Saito's masterpiece.

Plot has no holes and makes sense, however, bear in mind it's a Chinese story so it takes a little patience to settle into the narrative but it is worth it; it is an engaging tale.

The story is told using both Japanese and Chinese dialogue and it's English subtitled -- don't let the notion of it being a bilingual story put you off, it works exceedingly well.

This is a film without CGI, the sets and locations are amazing; the cast for the battles scenes runs into the 100s, it is a production that has had a lot of money spent on it and it shows.

The combat scenes and the martial arts are stunning: the quarter-staff scene is a must-see, IMO.

4.25 out of 5.
 
If you liked that you’ll love the film, Mother. Fairly stellar cast and intriguing TV guide blurb. It starts reasonably ok and then incrementally deteriorates into the most self indulgent, chaotic pile of utter pump. Supposedly an allegory about Mother Nature or the bible or something.
Two hours of my life I’ll never get back.
Thankfully Red Letter Media reviewed it and saved me from suffering that one.
 
War Dogs on prime.
Heard a fair bit about it & while its occasionally a bit loose with the actual facts its bloody good & bloody funny. The banter & some of the mental antics make it good watch.
 
Incredibles 2. The baby definitely steals the show. And is it me or did the animators take every opportunity to show Elastigirl bent at the waist from behind as often as possible. And what an arse!

Air Strike. Bruce Willis jollies up the Chinese Air Force in their obsolete Yaks and stuff against the Japanese. Some nicely done CGI air combat sequences, if a little improbable, considering the obsolete RUssian stuff being pitched against Zero's and the like, but otherwise just another twinkle on Willis's waning star.
She has completely different figure in her regular clothes, yet as elastigirl she resembles one of the Kardashians.
 

goodoldboy

MIA
Book Reviewer
Bohemian Rhapsody at the cinema, a biopic of Queen. It started slowly but picked up with plenty of decent music, especially when Live Aid in 1985 was covered. The young man who played the part of Freddie Mercury made a decent job of a difficult subject! Although I enjoyed the film I wouldn't rush out to see it again...
 
The Mule. Aussie flick. Simple Jack-type gets roped into a trip to Thailand to swallow pods of smack. Get's lifted by Oz 5-0 on his return and taken to a motel room to wait out the great dump. Proceeds to outwit plod, one of whom is a bit dodgy. Agent Smith is the lead cop but sadly the suspect is called Jenkins so there's no "So, Mr. Annndersssson..." Was expecting it to be gash but it's really rather good.

The lawyer chick's fit, too. Bonus!
 
Hyena Road.

Canadian sniper team in Afgahnistan. To be honest the trailer I watched didn't do it justice, I was expecting a B verging on the C movie. I was, however, very pleasantly surprised and consider it two hours of chillin' time not wasted. Very good usage of actual footage along with the movie bits, very well done, I thought.

I didn't check the name of the protagonist until the end: Rossif Sutherland. I did not know Donald Sutherland had so many offspring.

As I enjoyed watching it I shall give it a sound 8 to 9 out of 10. Its a freebie on @mazon.
 
God of War
Netflix

Ming Dynasty Chinese general is tasked with clearing out pirates who have "invaded" the civilised world. Said pirates are actually Japanese samurai and ronin working for one of the Japanese clans who wish to have a pop at the shogunate and they're basically on a huge smash'n'grab for loot to finance.

Where to begin: it's a masterclass in production values, right down to the stylistic differences between Chinese and Japanese maps (I kind you not, the props are that detailed). Excellent cast, mainly HK-ers but with mainlanders too, well acted. Photography is lush, not quite up to Kurasawa's Ran but it won't be long before Sino cinematography does catch up with Saito's masterpiece.

Plot has no holes and makes sense, however, bear in mind it's a Chinese story so it takes a little patience to settle into the narrative but it is worth it; it is an engaging tale.

The story is told using both Japanese and Chinese dialogue and it's English subtitled -- don't let the notion of it being a bilingual story put you off, it works exceedingly well.

This is a film without CGI, the sets and locations are amazing; the cast for the battles scenes runs into the 100s, it is a production that has had a lot of money spent on it and it shows.

The combat scenes and the martial arts are stunning: the quarter-staff scene is a must-see, IMO.

4.25 out of 5.
I saw that some time ago - very entertaining for a saturday night.
 
White Tiger

Russian WW2 war movie.

Good point: lots of T-34 tank porn and WW2 soviet army uniforms.

Bad points: plot, ending and basically everything else....

Watch it if you like T-34s and WW2 Russian uniforms otherwise I'd give it a miss.

Still probably better than the Brad Pitt pile of shite Fury though...
 

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer
BRIDGE OF SPIES _ Mark Rylance and Tom Hanks - Film 4 Now
 
In Order Of Disappearance. Snowplough pilot in rural Norway loses his son, murdered by organised criminals, and sets out to get a bit of bloody revenge, sparking a gangland war in the process. Nice scenery, nice plot, nice bit of black humour. The vaguely predictable paraglider/snow-blower interface gag at the end was particularly chuckleworthy. As was the unsubtitled rant by the main Noggin baddie's ex-wife. The scene gave it context for the non-Norse speaker. Baddie answers her with much brevity and curtness in a way we've all wished at some point we could get away with. Hitler plays the Serbian baddie. Excellent flick.

Robin Hood: The Rebellion and Vanquisher. Both so utterly ham- and wooden-acted by a bunch of never-heard-ofs that I can't be bothered to go and get IMDB links to them. The latter was so pish I binned it after twenty minutes. Can't even see it through for the young Thai ass-kicking chick as it's obvious she's going to break out a decent 'tache before she's much older.
 
In Order Of Disappearance. Snowplough pilot in rural Norway loses his son, murdered by organised criminals, and sets out to get a bit of bloody revenge, sparking a gangland war in the process. Nice scenery, nice plot, nice bit of black humour. The vaguely predictable paraglider/snow-blower interface gag at the end was particularly chuckleworthy. As was the unsubtitled rant by the main Noggin baddie's ex-wife. The scene gave it context for the non-Norse speaker. Baddie answers her with much brevity and curtness in a way we've all wished at some point we could get away with. Hitler plays the Serbian baddie. Excellent flick.

Robin Hood: The Rebellion and Vanquisher. Both so utterly ham- and wooden-acted by a bunch of never-heard-ofs that I can't be bothered to go and get IMDB links to them. The latter was so pish I binned it after twenty minutes. Can't even see it through for the young Thai ass-kicking chick as it's obvious she's going to break out a decent 'tache before she's much older.
Would the snow plough film be the cause of a remake starting Liam neeson?
 

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