What do you want for Christmas?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by The_Snail, Aug 13, 2011.

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  1. Come on, it's August, it's time to think about it.

    I want an Emo.

    Someone nice and luvverley to wash my dishes and stuff and dance whenever I tell them to.

    Disco dancing is NOT optional.
     
  2. I'll have some stir fried chicken with rice and three weeks in Vietnam and Cambodia please Sluggy Santa.
     
  3. afghan kandack to dance on a live AP mine,
     
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  4. I can supply the Emo, there's fucking hundreds of the grubby bastards in Lowestoft at the moment, they love da preddy aeroplanes. While they're distracted by crab air I can use my net to snare one and I'll teach it dancing and obedience before I send it up to you.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Another Christmas.
     
  6. It's on the back seat of the Mazda xx
     
  7. A winter tour in Canada
     
  8. Britain to leave the EU!
     
  9. World Peace.

    Nah, only kidding. A pony, just so I can taunt Dale.
     
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  10. I've got you the car so forget the offer from Rearwords. It does seem very small though.
    ImageUploadedByARRSE1313191762.594872.jpg
     
  11. A head-sized canvas bag with two eye holes in it and a mink whip
     
  12. It's probably better than a summer tour.

    Yours aye,

    Mrs Big Fucking Boots full of mud, sent home early because the Kingos did the Offrs' Mess over. The cunts.

    They might have nicked me a pony.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. HHH

    HHH LE

    A six pack !:nod:
     
  14. A new girl to love and hug every day.

    Someone who'll tell me my latest money making idea is shoite but still support the plan.

    Someone who is great on the lash, and understands squaddie humour.

    Someone who actually cares for me.

    Someone who accepts flowers are a waste of money best spent on fuel for our motorcycle adventures.

    Someone who looks great in leather.

    Someone I can buy nice gifts for on days that are not birthdays.

    Someone who without question is my soul mate.

    But, as that ain't gonna happen and I'm in the NAAFI, I suppose a half decent shag will probably do it.
     
    • Like Like x 4
  15. Look just buy me socks, strongbow or cigs and I'm not going on a bike. Don't expect foreplay and I'm doing the cooking. I hate the smell of fish so don't expect to eat it again. I hate surprises and never wake me up early. Glad that's sorted.