What do you want for Christmas?

#1
Come on, it's August, it's time to think about it.

I want an Emo.

Someone nice and luvverley to wash my dishes and stuff and dance whenever I tell them to.

Disco dancing is NOT optional.
 
#4
I can supply the Emo, there's fucking hundreds of the grubby bastards in Lowestoft at the moment, they love da preddy aeroplanes. While they're distracted by crab air I can use my net to snare one and I'll teach it dancing and obedience before I send it up to you.
 
#9
World Peace.

Nah, only kidding. A pony, just so I can taunt Dale.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#10
Jarrod, if you want me to trombone you that badly, you know what you have to do. A nice 1.8 with Supercharger, hardtop included with 12 months MOT and six months tax.

I'll travel and even bring my own Morrisons bag for life.
I've got you the car so forget the offer from Rearwords. It does seem very small though.
ImageUploadedByARRSE1313191762.594872.jpg
 
#11
A head-sized canvas bag with two eye holes in it and a mink whip
 
#12
A winter tour in Canada
It's probably better than a summer tour.

Yours aye,

Mrs Big Fucking Boots full of mud, sent home early because the Kingos did the Offrs' Mess over. The cunts.

They might have nicked me a pony.
 
#13
A six pack !:nod:
 
#14
A new girl to love and hug every day.

Someone who'll tell me my latest money making idea is shoite but still support the plan.

Someone who is great on the lash, and understands squaddie humour.

Someone who actually cares for me.

Someone who accepts flowers are a waste of money best spent on fuel for our motorcycle adventures.

Someone who looks great in leather.

Someone I can buy nice gifts for on days that are not birthdays.

Someone who without question is my soul mate.

But, as that ain't gonna happen and I'm in the NAAFI, I suppose a half decent shag will probably do it.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#15
A new girl to love and hug every day.

Someone who'll tell me my latest money making idea is shoite but still support the plan.

Someone who is great on the lash, and understands squaddie humour.

Someone who actually cares for me.

Someone who accepts flowers are a waste of money best spent on fuel for our motorcycle adventures.

Someone who looks great in leather.

Someone I can buy nice gifts for on days that are not birthdays.

Someone who without question is my soul mate.

But, as that ain't gonna happen and I'm in the NAAFI, I suppose a half decent shag will probably do it.
Look just buy me socks, strongbow or cigs and I'm not going on a bike. Don't expect foreplay and I'm doing the cooking. I hate the smell of fish so don't expect to eat it again. I hate surprises and never wake me up early. Glad that's sorted.
 
#18
A new girl to love and hug every day.

Someone who'll tell me my latest money making idea is shoite but still support the plan.

Someone who is great on the lash, and understands squaddie humour.

Someone who actually cares for me.

Someone who accepts flowers are a waste of money best spent on fuel for our motorcycle adventures.

Someone who looks great in leather.

Someone I can buy nice gifts for on days that are not birthdays.

Someone who without question is my soul mate.

But, as that ain't gonna happen and I'm in the NAAFI, I suppose a half decent shag will probably do it.
There's only one of me baby bear.

Baby Jebus loves you, he wants you for a sunbeam.

Where's my pony and my Elvis suit?
 
#20
You hated the smell of fish. Is this why you play for the other side?


Sent from my Desire HD
That picture on your posts. Can you get her to open her legs?
 

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