What do you do when?

Discussion in 'Infantry' started by BiscuitsAB, Apr 11, 2006.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator

    What do you do when the Plt Sgt goes off at the deep end and starts flinging out show parades like its gone out of fashion. What do you do when he acts like a totaly cnut and has completly pi55ed of everyone in a huge way so much so guys are handing in their papers?

    What do you do when your supposed to be preping for Afgan but your to busy bulling boots for show parade.

    What the hell do you do?
  2. Approach him and inform him, that his actions are hurting your feelings. I'm sure he'll then see the error of his ways and let you all mong about. I mean it's not like it's the Army is it. :roll:
  3. Kick his head in and claim ptsd.... even before the start of the tour!
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  4. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator

    sarcasm just isnt going to help!

    The whole point is that it is the Army, not basic. Theres more important stuff to do, than get fucked around becuase someone seems to have completly lost the plot. Full screws, lance jacks, pte's theres no differential everyone is getting fucked around completley without reason. And If he is asked "what the focks going on" he goes of the deep end. The whole pltn is totally disenfranchised, and this is the bloke that the whole pltn is supposed to depend on in an Operational situation!

    I dunno maybe hes trying to pull a psyc, or maybe he really has had a bearing go!
  5. Perhaps he thinks you are a shower who need a lesson in basics.

    Where is your platoon commander?
  6. Platoon Comd needs a quiet word with him - put him in the picture as to who is in charge of the Platoon - really. It might be that there is an underlying problem; trouble at home, money worries, teenage daughter pregnant, who knows, he is human after all and is maybe worried about the upcoming tour also. He might appreciate the Platoon Commander actually being a proper Platoon Commander and being concerned for his welfare - the chat might do him good.
  7. See if you can persuede him to transfer to a Guards battalion. Sounds like he would fit in perfectly.
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Technically, i suppose the Pl Comd should have a word, but if he's new that may not hold much sway. Best bet is for the CSM to grip him.
  9. Of course it could be because he is just a cnut.
  10. could be he's trying to get you into shape before a tour, or is just a ****.
  11. I wouldn't go over his head to the Plt Cmdr. I'd have a chat with your corporal. He's likely to know the guy best.
  12. What is this about? I thought you'd made the Great Escape over the wire.
  13. So what is causing your Platoon Sergeant's alleged impersonation of Captain Queeg? Does the platoon's discipline leave something to be desired, is the platoon screwing up in the field, what? If you are all giving 110% and successful at everything you do then your Sergeant has a problem, if you are not then you all have a problem (and Sarn't Queeg is attempting to arrest the slide) especially if you're about to be operationally deployed. If the former is true and you don't have a commissioned platoon commander have the senior Section Commander seek an interview with the Company Sergeant Major.
  14. Read it all, it's about you.

    It was written about an infantry unit in northern India just like you will be.

    If your warned off for op duty you can not hand in your papers.

    Read it again till you understand it.

    The 'Eathen

    The 'eathen in 'is blindness bows down to wood an' stone;
    'E don't obey no orders unless they is 'is own;
    'E keeps 'is side-arms awful: 'e leaves 'em all about,
    An' then comes up the regiment an' pokes the 'eathen out.

    All along o' dirtiness, all along o' mess,
    All along o' doin' things rather-more-or-less,
    All along of abby-nay, kul, an' hazar-ho,
    Mind you keep your rifle an' yourself jus' so!
    The young recruit is 'aughty -- 'e draf's from Gawd knows where;
    They bid 'im show 'is stockin's an' lay 'is mattress square;
    'E calls it bloomin' nonsense -- 'e doesn't know no more --
    An' then up comes 'is Company an' kicks 'im round the floor!

    The young recruit is 'ammered -- 'e takes it very 'ard;
    'E 'angs 'is 'ead an' mutters -- 'e sulks about the yard;
    'E talks o' "cruel tyrants" 'e'll swing for by-an'-by,
    An' the others 'ears an' mocks 'im, an' the boy goes orf to cry.

    The young recruit is silly -- 'e thinks o' suicide;
    'E's lost 'is gutter-devil; 'e 'asn't got 'is pride;
    But day by day they kicks 'im, which 'elps 'im on a bit,
    Till 'e finds 'isself one mornin' with a full an' proper kit.

    Gettin' clear o' dirtiness, gettin' done with mess,
    Gettin' shut o' doin' things rather-more-or-less;
    Not so fond of abby-nay, kul, nor hazar-ho,
    Learns to keep 'is rifle an' 'isself jus' so!

    The young recruit is 'appy -- 'e throws a chest to suit;
    You see 'im grow mustaches; you 'ear 'im slap 'is boot;
    'E learns to drop the "bloodies" from every word 'e slings,
    An' 'e shows an 'ealthy brisket when 'e strips for bars an' rings.

    The cruel-tyrant-sergeants they watch 'im 'arf a year;
    They watch 'im with 'is comrades, they watch 'im with 'is beer;
    They watch 'im with the women at the regimental dance,
    And the cruel-tyrant-sergeants send 'is name along for "Lance".

    An' now 'e's 'arf o' nothin', an' all a private yet,
    'Is room they up an' rags 'im to see what they will get;
    They rags 'im low an' cunnin', each dirty trick they can,
    But 'e learns to sweat 'is temper an' 'e learns to sweat 'is man.

    An', last, a Colour-Sergeant, as such to be obeyed,
    'E schools 'is men at cricket, 'e tells 'em on parade;
    They sees 'em quick an' 'andy, uncommon set an' smart,
    An' so 'e talks to orficers which 'ave the Core at 'eart.

    'E learns to do 'is watchin' without it showin' plain;
    'E learns to save a dummy, an' shove 'im straight again;
    'E learns to check a ranker that's buyin' leave to shirk;
    An' 'e learns to make men like 'im so they'll learn to like their work.

    An' when it comes to marchin' he'll see their socks are right,
    An' when it comes to action 'e shows 'em 'ow to sight;
    'E knows their ways of thinkin' and just what's in their mind;
    'E knows when they are takin' on an' when they've fell be'ind.

    'E knows each talkin' corpril that leads a squad astray;
    'E feels 'is innards 'eavin', 'is bowels givin' way;
    'E sees the blue-white faces all tryin' 'ard to grin,
    An' 'e stands an' waits an' suffers till it's time to cap 'em in.

    An' now the hugly bullets come peckin' through the dust,
    An' no one wants to face 'em, but every beggar must;
    So, like a man in irons which isn't glad to go,
    They moves 'em off by companies uncommon stiff an' slow.

    Of all 'is five years' schoolin' they don't remember much
    Excep' the not retreatin', the step an' keepin' touch.
    It looks like teachin' wasted when they duck an' spread an' 'op,
    But if 'e 'adn't learned 'em they'd be all about the shop!

    An' now it's "'Oo goes backward?" an' now it's "'Oo comes on?"
    And now it's "Get the doolies," an' now the captain's gone;
    An' now it's bloody murder, but all the while they 'ear
    'Is voice, the same as barrick drill, a-shepherdin' the rear.

    'E's just as sick as they are, 'is 'eart is like to split,
    But 'e works 'em, works 'em, works 'em till he feels 'em take the bit;
    The rest is 'oldin' steady till the watchful bugles play,
    An' 'e lifts 'em, lifts 'em, lifts 'em through the charge that wins the day!

    The 'eathen in 'is blindness bows down to wood an' stone;
    'E don't obey no orders unless they is 'is own;
    The 'eathen in 'is blindness must end where 'e began,
    But the backbone of the Army is the non-commissioned man!

    Keep away from dirtiness -- keep away from mess.
    Don't get into doin' things rather-more-or-less!
    Let's ha' done with abby-nay, kul, an' hazar-ho;
    Mind you keep your rifle an' yourself jus' so!

    A poem by Rudyard Kipling
  15. The first thing you do is to understand military abbreviations....Platoon is not Plt !!!!!!
    • Like Like x 1