What do they mean, I wonder.

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#1
Women ( bless'em) have some wonderful phrases. And use them often.

Some, like " I really, really like you, but if we had sex would change everything, could ruin our friendship" are bizarre, or the old " You are my best friend, and just like a brother to me"

Not that it has ever been said to me, naturally!

Why can't the be honest and say " 'k off you fat bugger, you are 'orrible". Not that that has ever happened to me either, naturally.
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
#2
It could be that you are a nice guy, but repulsive, fat and sweaty to look at. And you smell of stale wee.
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
#3
Of course that is a generalisation, not pointed at you, clearly! :wink:
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#4
Legs said:
It could be that you are a nice guy, but repulsive, fat and sweaty to look at. And you smell of stale wee.
Have we dated? You seem to know me so well.
 
#6
I think that women by nature, dont like to hurt peoples feelings and hate people to think badly of them, having said that if i really didnt like someone i would tell them to do one, so **** do one......
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#7
I think that is a two way street myself.

For example:

For: "Wow, your hair looks really pretty today darling, have you had it done?"
Read: "There, I've done my bit, can I fcuk you please?"

For: "mmmm, you smell nice"
Read: "I'm turned on, can I fcuk you please?"

For: "Can I buy you a drink?"
Read: "Can I fcuk you please?"

Starting to get the idea?
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#8
What do they actually mean when they say "No I don't take it up the Gary"?
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#9
B_AND_T said:
What do they actually mean when they say "No I don't take it up the Gary"?
They're too old for your perversions. 'Taking it up the Gary' has takne on a whole new meaning these days.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#10
Biped said:
B_AND_T said:
What do they actually mean when they say "No I don't take it up the Gary"?
They're too old for your perversions. 'Taking it up the Gary' has takne on a whole new meaning these days.
The phrase I can never work out is; 'not if you were the last man on Earth, and the only means of saving Human race'.
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#11
Now I'm lost!! Ok.. "No you can't go in the tradesman's"
 
#12
When a lady says no she means maybe,
When a lady says maybe she means yes,
When a lady says yes, she's no lady.

Obviously this piece of dogrel did nothing for the defence council's summing up at "Danger" Jim Walldon's rape trial at the Old Bailey last month. The "short skirt" defence is not only outdated but will actively damage your drug fuelled "when they struggle they like it" client's case.
 
#13
The other day I was on a date with a lovely young lady when, all of a sudden she said the most peculiar thing. She looked at me as I held her in my arms and with the faintest hint of a tear in her eye she said:

"please don't hurt me, my friends know I'm here and they'll phone the police! HELP ME I'M BEING RAPEmmmmmrrmrfffff".

What on gods earth could she have meant by that? :?
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#14
The line that got me confused for weeks (I just didn't know what the hell she was intimating at) was "ggaaarrggglle, cough, cough, eeergghhyerfeckinbastazzzyesedyerdneverdodateeeeeuuurrgh!!"
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#15
I like it when they are coy and flirty, when they say things like'feck off you horrible sick barsteward, and take that donkey with you'
 
#16
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Women ( bless'em) have some wonderful phrases. And use them often.

Some, like " I really, really like you, but if we had sex would change everything, could ruin our friendship" are bizarre, or the old " You are my best friend, and just like a brother to me"

Not that it has ever been said to me, naturally!

Why can't the be honest and say " 'k off you fat bugger, you are 'orrible". Not that that has ever happened to me either, naturally.
It means: You are ok in my book, just not shaggable.
 
#18
T'was back in the winter of '81, me and a couple of opps were checking out the gristle and grunt in the Smith & Wesson (South Western) in the 'Shot.
Spotted a couple of bits in the opposite side of the bar, and deployed there sharpish. One took one look at my finely chiselled (and malleted) face and uttered the now legendary words...
"You looked alright from a distance, but your fcukin' 'anging close up".
Lesbian.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#19
squed said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Women ( bless'em) have some wonderful phrases. And use them often.

Some, like " I really, really like you, but if we had sex would change everything, could ruin our friendship" are bizarre, or the old " You are my best friend, and just like a brother to me"

Not that it has ever been said to me, naturally!

Why can't the be honest and say " 'k off you fat bugger, you are 'orrible". Not that that has ever happened to me either, naturally.
It means: You are ok in my book, just not shaggable.

Hmmm. A compliment that is a double edged sword. Sometimes we want to be thought shaggable. Not, I hasten to add, has the above ever been said to em. :D Much!
 
#20
still21inmymind said:
T'was back in the winter of '81, me and a couple of opps were checking out the gristle and grunt in the Smith & Wesson (South Western) in the 'Shot.
Spotted a couple of bits in the opposite side of the bar, and deployed there sharpish. One took one look at my finely chiselled (and malleted) face and uttered the now legendary words...
"You looked alright from a distance, but your fcukin' 'anging close up".
Lesbian.
Ooo, ouch. You should have put that hoe firmly back in her place!
 
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