What country has the most outrageous young ladies?

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Dashing_Chap, Jul 5, 2009.

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  1. Hello chaps,

    I was dating my Tartar-tart for quite a few months, she managed to weasel a small fortune out of me in meals around Kensington, not to mention trips around the country & general driving. Unfortunately the sex life was diabolical, she demanded missionary & refused to oblige me in any way. :x I think the only positive aspect was that she had friends in some very distinguished circles & was the daughter of a Major & the granddaughter of a Russian General. With that in mind, I must be one of the few chaps West of Checkpoint Charlie to have given a hoop dhobi to the granddaughter of a Russian General. :)

    Alas it was not to be, & after a heated & drunken argument via the phone she hung up on me & that was the last of her. Therefore, I may conclude that Russian girlies are none but trouble.

    This weekend I experimented with ‘a little Danish’, I must confess I’m not a big pastry fan, but I think after last nights exploits I could well be a convert. I met the young lady at 2100, her podgy German friend who looked distinctly like an operatic Helga & was only missing a winged helmet decided to ply us both with vodka shots. After a short while we were both sufficiently dazed & after an abortive attempt to go out clubbing we ended up back at her place. The beast with two backs soon emerged as we delved into some rather depraved antics, this being a mere 3 hours after my first acquaintance with the young lady & a new record for me, a slight improvement over the month+ of seducing the Russian! Unfortunately she forgot to close her blinds & as her bed was in a bay window & close to the road there were a number of occasions when we played for the audience of drunken vagrants making their way home.

    The highlight of the evening’s activities was when she suggested a lateral move to the bathroom. I ended up with her in the shower & bent over the end of the bath, her nubile bum raised & perky cheeks splayed as I stuffed my throbber as far as humanly possible up her ricker. I haven’t had this sort of fun since my business with the lawyer girl & even then she was a chubbo! This sort of thing was on a different scale altogether as the Danish girl was skinny with the whole good-looking high cheekbone thing, she was so composed she didn’t even fart as I pulled out. 8) I still haven’t recovered sufficiently to give an accurate account, but there can be no doubt in my mind that the Scandinavians are a credit to the loving art of unnatural copulation.

    Have any of you chaps had the honour of a Danish lady? Are there any others more perverted in Europe?

    Yours &c.

  2. You're still a virgin aren't you?
  3. I hear the fair maidens of Baquba put our for the correct amount of dollar. Least ways they did when I was there. Ask in the Cash Gym.
  4. PMSL! :judge: :lol: :lol:
  5. Aren't you dead yet? DC you really are a boring mong.

    I think that a russian lady who wouldn't let you try anything more advanced than the missionary, would hardly entertain a little ricker dhobi.....and therefore I call you out as a liar.
  6. foook me do we have a readers wives section!??
  7. i wish i had school in the morning !! of the 6th form type mind!! :D
  8. I thought that;s what he said he had...

    Taxi! :D
  9. or even "just a cnut"

  10. Oh Mr Jarrod you do sound quite bitter, yet I know such a kind hearted gent as yourself could never willingly insinuate such cruel gestures. I fancy you didn’t get your end away :?

  11. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

    Given that Jarrod wouldn't give you a reach around, what's your point?
  12. What regiment are you hoping to serve in when you've finished in the cadets?

    This is the trouble with kids having computers in their bedrooms. They come on the internet and bore their elders and betters.

    When I was your age I was looking at porn, swigging snakebite and trying to get laid; not posting pseudo Edwardian drivel on Arrse and inflicting my adolescent concept of sophisticated humour on real people.....

    You tedious little dullard.
  13. i love this forum !! makes me smile like i havent for years!! thanks for the injection of forces humour ladies!! :D
  14. Spent 5ish years already in the reserves old boy, every moment of which was an honour, but I’ve no desire to return to questionable pay, poor conditions (even for officers imho) & to risk life & limb for our intrepid leader. The greatest of respect to those that would naturally.

    If there’s a position for me to hang around in a subbies uniform & chat up saucy bints at the regimental dos then I may reconsider.

  15. In order to spend time "in the reserves" you must have served in "the army" (regular or territorial).You don't mention that. Why not?