What am I missing?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by vvaannmmaann, Aug 18, 2013.

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  1. My new neighbour and his trophy wife have just been over to introduce themselves.Brand new Range Rover,spotless Hunter wellies,new Barbour just out of the wrapper,she was all teeth and tits tottering along in her high heels,you get the picture.........He is something in the City.
    He says he wants to buy my Bottom Field,as it butts onto his land.He wants to pay me £10,000 per acre,there is about 5 acres down there.Now the going rate around here is £4-5k per acre.The field is 'organic' ie I have never done anything with it and is is producing a great crop of thistles and nettles.
    The guy then says we could do the deal for cash and so the chancellor need never know.Our hero has his city bonus burning a hole in his pocket.

    My initial thoughts were "Get in!" and take the cash.However my sensible side is saying if we do this through
    the Land Registry which we would need to do,HMRC will get involved and I'll get stung for Capital Gains Tax or some such.
    Any thoughts on avoiding the inevitable taxation?
  2. Sounds like your man has everything he needs except your bottom. Tread carefully. Would you trust someone who is 'something in the city?' Do an HPI on the Rover. Bonk his wife for some pillow talk. I think that he just wants to say that he shagged his neighbour to add to his collectibles.
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  3. IIRC, by law all sales/transfers of ownership or interests in land have to be done in writing, so doing a cash deal would be illegal.

    My immediate thoughts are

    i) Covenant restricting/preventing building
    ii) reserve shooting rights

    Edit: here we are:

    CG70280 - Land: disposal of interest in land must be in writing

    So, seems he's asking you to break the law - tread very carefully!

    I'd be inclined to offer lease it to him instead - if his wife wants a field for the horses, that should be more than enough, if he's up to something dodgy, then his interest will fall away, and you then know exactly where to relocate all your silage bales to!
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  4. You'll wake up the day after the sale to find a massive block of flats under construction, or maybe an oil well or quarry.
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  5. Or one of them nice Traveller sites
  6. Having recently moved home, my wife and I have just popped over to see my oik of a neighbour. The poor man, clearly down on his luck, has a little bit of disused land around his hovel home that might do as a paddock for the horses so in conversation I suggested that we might like to take it off his hands at the market rate - we are not wealthy people and market rate is about as much as we would want to go to.

    Seems like a good idea - we have somewhere for the horses & he gets 20 - 25k to improve his lot. Clearly he will never do anything with his overgrown waste ground so win win what??

    Well, his eyes lit up at the idea but then he started to demand double the market value and all of the money in used notes in a brown envelope, nothing more said. Quite insistent he was which has somewhat put us off.

    I suspect that at some point HMRC might catch up with us and thus, would rather do it all above board at a sensible price. What do you chaps think? should I negotiate for cash or stand firm on price and tax paid?
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  7. Record your next conversation and tell him that you need to get your solicitor to check it out, film reaction and then post here.
  8. Ooh, it occurs to me that you have a great opportunity to screw him over here

    £50k, verbal agreement, thank you very much

    2 years down the line when he sells the house or tries to do anything with it "what agreement, no, don't be silly, I never sold him that land, it would have been illegal to do so without a written contract!"
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  9. First thing I would do is check with the local council and see if anyone has enquired about the possibility of getting building permission on said land. Why would he offer you double the going rate for the land if he wasn't sure of a proffit? After all, bankers may be corrupt and greedy but they are not stupid.
    As this is the NAAFI try leasing him the land for two jumps a month on the trophy wife!
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  10. Tell him to bugger off and "stay orrrf moi laaaaand!"

    Then begin a campaign on intimidation to force the buggers out. However be subtle an keep it deniable.

    Sent via Heliograph from the Jebel Birkenhead
  11. Keep the land, they're not making any more of it. Offer to sell your house with the land for four times the value of the entire property price and move. Suggest to his wife your property would be ideal for her Mother-in-law to move in to, just in order to fuck him over proper.
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  12. The brand new Range Rover should provide a clue. Has it got a towbar? Does he have the faintest Irish accent? Do his family photographs have caravans in the background?

    Take the cash - he'll take the land anyway.
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  13. Clearly all is not as it seems. Hunter wellies for god's sake? They are so last century. Anyone who is anyone or even knows anyone who is anyone now wears Aigle boots as they are so much more flexible and, more importantly, cost a packet.

    The same goes for the Barbour jacket. If he was a man of taste, he would have given it a turn around the washing machine, then put it in a sack and driven over it a few times in his new Range Rover.

    The man is clearly a fraud.

    Do you by any chance live anywhere near one of the proposed new London airport runways (Heathrow/Stansted) or are you maybe in a potential frackin' area?

    Remember...all that glistens is not gold....well...apart from gold that is.
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  14. Also, by making a quick 40K on the land you may have devalued your property by 100K and made your property less desirable.

    *naafi comment* Kick her back doors in *naafi comment*
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