Ok, so i've been away on a works course this past couple of weeks. All is going well until one breakfast time when one of the blokes on the course, who was a right blimp decides to join my table, ruining a perfectly good conversation about why blokes keep missing the G.spot or similar. Conversation turns to past employment. 'I was a Para' says Blimp, who sports a set of para wings tattoo'ed on his moobs. I asked him when he earned his brown wings and he looked gone out. Every time i tried to question him on such as his number, coy etc, he deflected by talking to someone else. For the grand finale, he announced that his son was in the SAS ( cue my coffee spraying everyone ) and that he himself was formerly very high ranking. I had to leave the table at that point to unlock my gritted teeth. By the end of the course, i really really wanted to spork his fat chops, which i possibly would have done had he not have spent the rest of the course trying to avoid me. Even better was that a couple of the instructors are ex forces and strangely he never shared these nuggets of information with them If your reading this Walt, you know who you are.